老兄的精神可嘉，值得大家学习，

效果却是不好，可能是没有遇到好老师，或者是没有找到好的学习方法。

 

我认为你的英文，单词是英文单词，句子是合乎语法的句子，可就是读起来不像英文。比如用词不当，而且重复使用不当之词，如in water，clothes, 等。其它我认为的许多不妥之处我就不多说了。当局者迷，旁观者清吧，当然也包括我本人。

 

你的原文：

She carried the dirty clothes in a basket and went to the nearest stream. She watched other women how to wash clothes. They soaked the clothes in water and took them up and put on a smooth stone above the water. Then they beat the wet clothes with a wooden stick till the dirt on the clothes was squeezed out with water. Then they dipped the clothes in water again and shook them in water to let the dirt go with the current. After a while they took them up and wrung water out of the clothes.

我的改写如下：

She went down to the nearest stream, carrying dirty clothes in a basket, to learn how other women would do their laundry. They would first soak up their washings in the stream, put them up on a smooth stone and beat away at them with a wooden stick to squeeze out the dirt. Then they would pick one piece and shake and turn it in the current to rinse before taking it up and wringing it dry.