凑了首儿歌。瞎凑了一首:)

来源: 2010-02-28 15:05:05 [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读:

I walked across the Greenwood garden
looking for the road we always took
i sat on the meadow my heart was taken
though of you and of our joys we partook

dear friend, do you know how i miss you?
where have you gone?do you still play flue?


I looked around for the cherry tree
we engraved our names on the trunk
i touched the branch looking for the names
Is this the place that we've made wishes?

dear friend,do you know i care about you?
how have you been? do you still write haiku?



觉得rhyme有时真的影响表达。
比如,倒数第二段没有考虑韵脚,正是完全是想要表达的意思。
其它地方为了rhyme,反而不是一开始想要写的意思。