好学mm, 这么好学，那俺就扔 my 2 cents.

The writing is decent, no obvious grammar mistakes, except that “In some part of China”, which you may mean “in some parts of China”. The diction (word choice and presentation) is proper. You also got sophisticated sentence structures there. All in all, it is a piece of well-written article.

But to me, it seems it lacks your personal touch. It is more like that you are introducing a traditional Chinese holiday to foreigners. You tell them when we celebrate it, how we celebrate it and why we celebrate it. But what makes it different from other traditional Chinese festivals to become your most favorite holiday as what your title has claimed, I can’t tell. Plus, for foreigners, these customs are very fresh and exotic, while for Chinese, kind of cliché and old.

After you lay out a very solid background introduction to the Mid-Autumn festival, you may spice it up by adding some of your personal related experiences or interesting stories with this holiday to make it stand out. So readers can be convinced from your stories that this is THE most favorite festival of YOURS, not just another Chinese festival with some moon cake food. That’s it. We need that kind of connection here, between you and the festival.

There is a Chinese saying - “bring a picture of a dragon to life by putting in the pupils of its eyes”. Without that magic personal touch, the article tends to be flat. With it, your article will be vivid and unique. And it will become an excellent one from a good one.