'露从今夜白，月是故乡明' 古句初探，运用“德利三步法”， 思吾友

"露从今夜白，月是故乡明" 古句英译初探


Photo courtesy:
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=atupev&s=5&tag=Moonlight&hid=61

"露从今夜白，月是故乡明" 古句初探，运用“德利三步法”， 思吾友

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Sentences:

01：先有白话句：
Look, the morning dew so clean and white, formed through night,
the moon hung high up tonight, reminds me the home moonlight.

02 初稿：
"Stars falling from sky high become the morning dew, brightens tonight D' moonlight home"

03：调整音节音律及韵：成如下句：(就是长了点）

1. "Twilight fall from sky, tonight, morning dew clean n' white, silver shines in home soft moonlight." -First
2. "Twilight fall from sky, tonight, morning dew clean n' white, soft moon home, shines with delight."-Optional
3. "Twilight falls tonight, morning dew white, soft moon home, shines with delight."- Concise

共初版，选择版，精简版 三种选择！
请多提宝贵意见！

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思吾友！！

小战士一语，
2009 七月 湖边，