人生若只如初见 17

One day I saw a beautiful Asian girl standing in the crowd in Chinatown. She had some bags with her. When a black lady walked by, the Asian girl stopped her.

“Do you want to buy LV bags?” she asked.

The black lady looked at the bags, shook her head, and walked away. Which made me think about Kate. Her life in Manhattan must be this hard.

 

I went back to Toronto in November. It was an eight hours’ drive. On both sides of the highway were piles of snow. I called Sherry a few times, but could not get hold of her. So I stopped by her house. Her brother opened the door.

“Hi, is Sherry at home?” I asked.

“No. She is in Taiwan. She will be back in two weeks.” He said.

 

I went to the pond where Sherry skated in that snowing night. In the afternoon sun, it was covered with snow and surrounded by leafless trees. I pictured her skating on the pond with her beautiful hairs flowing, her skating toward me with her arms open, and the dog running and heavily breathing behind her.

 

I visited Li Yun. She said her hu*****and went back to China because of his business. She was staying in Toronto with her daughter, because Alice preferred to live in Toronto than in China.

“Life abroad is not easy. A lady from our university went crazy after living in NYC for more than ten years.” I said.

“What is her name?” Li Yun asked.

“Kate.” I said.

“Oh. I know her. She was a very beautiful girl. She dated the most handsome guy in my department.” She said, “It is such a pity.”

 

It was the last day of 2008. My colleague Jimmy invited me to his two-bedroom apartment to have dinner together. He had a six-year-old son and a five-year-old daughter. His wife was from Si Chuan. She prepared a very nice dinner for us. The two kids were playing with a toy train in the living room. Somehow an ill feeling arose between the siblings: the brother grabbed the train, trying to put it on top of the bookshelf so that his little sister could not reach it. The sister looked at her brother, her lips quivering, seeming to be on the verge of tears. Jimmy gave his son a lecture about how to be a good brother.

 

During the dinner, Jimmy said he was looking for a house.

“My two kids are growing up fast. Soon they cannot sleep in the same bedroom. I am looking for a house with three bedrooms.” Jimmy said.

“You should find a four-bedroom house. The forth room can double as study room and guest room.” I said.

 

After I left Jimmy’s apartment, I stopped at the downtown of New Brunswick. It was about 11 PM. The downtown seemed to be deserted. There were only a few cars parked by the curb. I lighted up a cigar. The New Year was literally around the corner. The crowds in Time Square must be holding their breath for the New Year countdown. I was jealous of Jimmy’s family and had a sense of helplessness. If Kate and I got married after college, we would probably have a family exactly like that. I wanted to have both a son and a daughter. We could enjoy all the happiness and anguish of being parents. Wouldn’t that be nice? But life never worked out the way you wanted it to.

 

Do you remember Yang Qing, the woman who badmouthed you after things did not go the way she liked? Do you remember Sherry and her beautiful smile? Do you remember Elaine, always dressed to kill? Do you remember Kate? Yes. There is always Kate.

 

I thought about the conversations I lately had with Kate.

“ you, Harry.” I said it out loudly, and started laughing.

 

THE END