周末一笑: 胡萝卜(ZT)

1 胡萝卜

Patient: You say carrot is good for the eyes. Is that true?

Doctor: Certainly. Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses?

 

2 伟大的科学家

Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?

Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

 

3 太快与太慢

A man traveling at 130 miles per hour on the road was stopped by traffic police.

“Sorry, officer.” Said the driver, “Was I driving too fast?”

“No, sir. You were flying too slow.”

 

4 洗脸

Teacher: David, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?

David: What was it?

Teacher: Eggs.

David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

 

5 崭新的奔驰车

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar!  Oscar!  I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No,” she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number.”

 

6 导盲犬

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”

"Not really, ”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”