周末一笑: Birthday

1 生日 Birthday

Professor: When is your birthday?

Kid: May 9.

Professor: Which year?

Kid: Every year.

 

2 让人无奈的孩子 Boy, Oh Boy

When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. One Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming, grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty.”

 

3 愚蠢的问题 Stupid Question

Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Every day, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.

But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”

 

4 烟卷迟早都会点着的 The cigarettes will be on fire

Mary was so disgusted at her husband's cigarette smoking that she complained to him one day.

'I hope that all the cigarette factories will catch fire someday.'

'Don't worry, dear. All the cigarettes will be on fire sooner or later.' He said with a smile.

 

5 跳上跳下 Jump up and down

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?

Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.

 

6 给女士让座 Give up your seat to a lady

Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.

"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

 

(from internet)