周末一笑：Greek

1 希腊语 Greek 

Mr. Day was a teacher at a school in a big city in the north of England.  He usually went to France or Germany for a few weeks during his summer holidays，and he spoke French and German quite well.

But one year Mr. Day said to one of his friends，“I’m going to have a holiday in Athens. But I don't speak Greek, so I'll go to evening classes and have Greek lessons for a month before I go.”

He studied very hard for a month，and then his holidays began and he went to Greece.

When he came back a few weeks later，his friend said to him，“Did you have any trouble with your Greek when you were in Athens，Dick?"

"No，I didn’t have any trouble with it, "answered Mr. Day. But the Greeks did!”

 

2 克莱顿教授 Professor Creighto

Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

"Can’t you reach up so high?" asked the professor kindly.

"No，Sir,”said the small youngster.

"Well, then, let me help you,” and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.

The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled，"we must both run away.”

 

3 睡前祷告  Bedtime Prayer

Julia was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God，"she said，“Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy.”

Her mother interrupted and said，"Julia，why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?”

And Julia replied，“Because that is what I put in my geography exam!”

 

4 五分钟我能说什么 What Can I Say In Five Minutes

When we got our long一distance phone bill，we found that our daughter，Cathy，had been making 60一minute calls to a boyfriend away at college.“From now on，”her father said firmly，"Your calls are limited to five minutes.”

“Dad，what can I say in five minutes”Cathy wailed.

"Call me back.” He answered.
 

5 学校成绩单  A School-report

The father was reading the school-report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful as he read: "English，poor; French，weak; Mathematics，fair;”And he gave a glance of disgust at the weakling lad.

"Well，dad，”said the son，“It is not as good as it might be，but have you seen that”and he pointed to the next line，which read: “Health，excellent.”
 

6  大婴儿 The Big Baby

"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband. "I'm not feeling well."

"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear." her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby."

"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better." his wife told him.

"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.

She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "

She wrote out the list and gave it to him.

"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.

"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."

The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.

At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.

Then he started to scream.

And scream!

And SCREAM!

"Keep calm, George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.

A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.

"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George."
"Madam," the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.

（from Internet)