周末一笑：Alexander the Great

1 亚历山大大帝 Alexander the Great

Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation，and the doctor，somewhat nettled，said:“Landon，you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.  You seem to lack ambition.Why，at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.

 "Yes，”said Landon，"he couldn’t help it，for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”

 

2 你输了 You've Lost

 

On her return from school，little Dolly, aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad，and presently said:

"Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.

The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:

“Dear Tom,

It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”

 

3 诗人的名字 The Name of a Poet

Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.

“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”

“I see what you mean”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”

 

4 作文 Essay

Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket".After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home.

His essay read:"Rain， stopped play."

 

5 除了音乐都好 Except The Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music，so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.To make the occasion even more memorable，she treated everybody to lemonade，cake，chocolates and ices.

Just as the party was getting back into their coach，she said  to  little  Sally，“Have  you enjoyed yourself today?”

"Oh，yes，miss”said Sally，“It was lovely.All except the music，that is.”

 

6 一次物理考试 A Physics Examination

 

Once in a physics examination，Nick finished the first question very soon，while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: when it thunders why we see the lightning first，then hear the thunder rolls?

Nick’s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

（from Internet)