Bro 2 you rocked it!

1)唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也!!

We get stuck with a woman (or women )and English,both wife and job are hard to get.

2)婚姻就象吃饭，你点的肯定都是你爱吃的，可等菜上了桌，你还是忍不住先看看别人的盘子。------得不到的才是最好的。

Marrage (typo: marriage)is just like eatting out,what you order must be your favorites,but once you get your food,You still cannot help (can't help checking out... can't help+verb +ing))to check out others' food,"Damn it,There is aways something better than mine out there."

3)最差的人品莫过于痴痴地盯着一个丑女看半晌，然后叹口气说:"靠，这恐龙做得 ! 太像真的了"。

The worst person on(in) the world is the one who stares at an ugly woman for a long time and then gives a comment with a sigh,"oops,I thought the dinosaur is real,nice work!"  ( or: and then puffs out a sigh: oops...)

4)与人冲突时，退一步海阔天空；追女友时，退一步人去楼空。

When you get calmed and make one step backwards befor a fight,Everything will be fine,But if you do it the same to your date,everything will be gone.　　
5)在街上看美女，目光高一点就是欣赏，目光低一点就是流氓。

When you peek at the hotties(not sure for hotties, hot girls?) on the street,you are a great guy if you stare at somewhere upper the neck,but if you stare at somewhere lower the neck,You are a pervert. Let me have a try for this one: When appreciating hot girls on the street, looking upper a bit you will be consideered as a gentleman, looking down a bit you will be called as a pervert. 

pervert:A person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable.