I still have a “strong” opinion about the following. It is fun having this kind of discussion. Hope that you don’t mind.
- First year, in senior high school, - I still feel my version is better. An article "the" is missing here (first year -> the first year). Also there is no such thing here as senior high school, either middle school or high school.
- our relation of time - I really don't think this is a good expression, actually I did not get it when I first read it. I wonder if you can get a second opinion from someone else about this.
- repeat the feeling – still feel strange about it. I just tried to Google this expression, but could not found one.
- “an ethnic minority” is better than “ethnic minority”
- An smile -> a smile
- also you missed this one: and a smile as broad as I could manage (managing an smile as broad as I could).
