建议：

其实也没有社么建议，你的语调都读出来了，只是给小结一下:

For the first high-lighted part:
“…, men knew NO peace升and were NO BETTER than beasts降”.
The words NO and NO BETTER are read high-pitched (jump-up) and the word‘beasts’is read louder but low-pitched. 关于high-pitched vs. louder voice等着录录音就能更说明问题了

For the second high-lighted:
year升after year降

For the third high-lighted section:
处理方法多种，典型的是不是可以用一下两种，一种是把单句当成一个对仗单位来决定升降调；另一种是把一个复合句当成一个对仗单位来决定升降调：

单句:
When kings升were not kings降, nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers升were not fathers降, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands升were not hu*****ands降, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers升were not brothers降; Friends升were not friends降.

Or
复合句:
When kings升were not kings 升,  nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers升were not fathers升, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands升were not hu*****ands升, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers升were not brothers升; Friends升were not friends降.

Or simply: 
When kings降were not kings降,  nor subjects升subjects 降；
Fathers降were not fathers降, nor sons升sons 降;
Hu*****ands降were not hu*****ands降, nor wives升wives降;
Brothers降were not brothers降; Friends升were not friends降. 

WQ这里把单句当成一个对仗单位来定的升降调.