不是当外人，这两天工作上忙了点儿。挑了几颗砖

写得非常好！I like it very much!

我用词conservative，我没见过的不敢用，我觉得你就有点儿太胆大了，哈哈，we need to find a middle ground.

(1) her heart sagged. 我从没听到过sag这样用的，what's wrong with sank?

(2) But as a self-claimed amateur artist with good looks, ->self-acclaimed?

（3）One day, suddenly he didn’t reply her emails any more and he no longer visited the photography forum. 我会直接说： One day, he stopped replying her emails and visiting the photogrphy forum.

（4）two my best pieces I wanna share with you. two of my best pieces

最后情节上，我有点不明白为啥also for the very last time in her whole life? 她没有自杀吧？还是她决定再也不看雪了？