Life's burden made you long for the bygong days

 

when you could indulge in fantasies of throwing yourself at his feet...

During those moments, you were completely into yourself, no worldly care came to bother you, you were in total bliss.

Longing for the return of those moments brings you pain.  At the same time, it pushes the burden out of your mind.

The connection between pain and not-being-responsible-for-the-pain can be intoxicating.