Understand you, yet "基本没做家务，也完全没有带孩子" should be irrelevant

Does "基本没做家务，也完全没有带孩子" bother you? You have a son, so you may face the same when you're old. Put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes, you may feel better.
Having said so, it doesn't mean you should be living with her in the same house especially you can't tolerant (maybe each other). It's a difficult problem to solve. Hope you will find a better solution, but still won't hurt the relationship with your mother-in-law. If you love your hubby, just think she is his mother. Do the part you can, but don't over-do if you don't feel too. Best!