I did some soul searching and found out

I'm not driven either by money, fame, nor public recognition. Basically I'd rather live within my own means than going out looking for larger fortune. That's fine.

Also, I'm not afraid of isolation, unlike many other women staying at home or retirees that just got off busy lives outside. Actually I enjoy being alone. I'd like to be the owner of my own time, doing things I like to do, reading,  gardening,  listening to radio podcasts.

Going outside dealing with others is painful for me so when money is not a desperate issue I'd rather stay at my own home, looking into my own backyard and feeling calm and content. That's fine. I think my life is already settled on a rather smooth ride. There's no wants and cravings.

Life is good when there's a proper choice for your personal needs and personality. I think I've found where I belong to,  my niche, my home. I can stop the debate within me now.

Thank you for the advice, you're a group of driven people,  I'm not. It's all good, afterall.