约翰·洛克的教育思想(中英对照)-13: 克制奢求

CRAVING ｜ 1. That a child should never be suffered to have what he craves, much less what he cries for, I had said, or so much as speaks for. But that being apt to be misunderstood, and interpreted as if I meant a child should never speak to his parents for any thing, which will perhaps be thought to lay too great a curb on the minds of children, to the prejudice of that love and affection which should be between them and their parents; I shall explain myself a little more particularly. It is fit that they should have liberty to declare their wants to their parents, and that with all tenderness they should be hearkened to, and supplied, at least, whilst they are very little. But it is one thing to say, I am hungry; another to say, I would have roast-meat. Having declared their wants, their natural wants, the pain they feel from hunger, thirst, cold, or any other necessity of nature, it is the duty of their parents, and those about them, to relieve them: but children must leave it to the choice and ordering of their parents what they think properest for them, and how much; and must not be permitted to choose for themselves, and say, I would have wine, or white bread; the very naming of it should make them lose it.

恳求 ｜ 1. 我说过，小孩不能得到他恳求的东西，或者进一步说，他哭闹要求的就更不应该给。但是这会引起误解，人们会以为我主张小孩不能向父母要求任何东西，觉得这会过于抑制孩子的精神，以至于伤害孩子与父母间的喜爱和感情；我应该更明确地解释清楚。至少当孩子很小的时候，他们可以自由地向父母表达他们的需要，而且父母要温柔地倾听和满足他们的要求，这是合理的。但是，说“我饿了”是一回事，说“我要吃烤肉”是另一回事。小孩表达他们的需要，他们的自然需要，他们的父母和他们周围的人有责任解除他们从饥饿、干渴、寒冷或者任何倾听自然需求引起的痛苦；但是孩子应该让他们的父母来选择决定什么对他们最适合，多少对他们最适合；他们不能自己选择，说“我要酒或者白面包”；他们只要指明要什么，就不给他们什么。

That which parents should take care of here, is to distinguish between the wants of fancy and those of nature; which Horace has well taught them to do in this verse,

父母这里应该关心的是区分欲望的需要与自然的需要；贺瑞斯 (Horace)在下面这句诗里教得很明白，

 
”Queis humana sibi doleat natura negatis.”

“超过自然需要的，都是奢侈。”

Those are truly natural wants, which reason alone, without some other help, is not able to fence against, nor keep from disturbing us. The pains of sickness and hurts, hunger, thirst, and cold, want of sleep and rest, or relaxation of the part wearied with labour, are what all men feel, and the best disposed mind cannot but be sensible of their uneasiness; and therefore ought, by fit applications, to seek their removal, though not with impatience, or over-great haste, upon the first approaches of them, where delay does not threaten some irreparable harm. The pains that come from the necessities of nature, are monitors to us to beware of greater mischiefs, which they are the forerunners of; and therefore they must not be wholly neglected, nor strained too far. But yet, the more children can be inured to hardships of this kind, by a wise care to make them stronger in body and mind, the better it will be for them. I need not here give any caution to keep within the bounds of doing them good, and to take care, that what children are made to suffer should neither break their spirits, nor injure their health; parents being but too apt of themselves to incline, more than they should, to the softer side.

那些真正自然需要的，没有别的帮助，理智不可能单独阻拦，也不可能使其不打搅我们。疾病、伤害、饥饿、寒冷、缺乏睡眠与休息、或者劳累的部分肢体缺少放松，这些痛苦是所有人都能感受到的，就是最健康的心灵也会感觉到不舒服；所以要用合适的方式消除它们，但是不要焦躁或过于匆忙，只要在它们刚发生时就处理，稍微耽误一点也不会发生不可弥补的危害。从自然需要引起的疼痛，是一种监测器可以警告我们当心更大的伤害，疼痛是它们的预兆；所以我们不能完全忽视，但也不要过度紧张。然而，通过明智的关爱使孩子身心更强健，他们就愈能忍受这种痛苦，对他们就愈有好处。这里我不需要提醒要在对他们有益的范围内进行，小心不让小孩所受的痛苦摧毁他们的精神，或者损害他们的健康；父母自己一般过于倾向更温和的一面。

But whatever compliance the necessities of nature may require, the wants of fancy children should never be gratified in, nor suffered to mention. The very speaking for any such thing should make them lose it. Clothes, when they need, they must have; but if they speak for this stuff, or that colour, they should be sure to go without it. Not that I would have parents purposely cross the desires of their children in matters of indifferency: on the contrary, where their carriage deserves it, and one is sure it will not corrupt or effeminate their minds, and make them fond of trifles, I think, all things should be contrived, as much as could be, to their satisfaction, that they might find the ease and pleasure of doing well. The best for children is, that they should not place any pleasure in such things at all, nor regulate their delight by their fancies; but be indifferent to all that nature has made so. This is what their parents and teachers should chiefly aim at: but till this be obtained, all that I oppose here, is the liberty of asking; which, in these things of conceit, ought to be restrained by a constant forfeiture annexed to it.

不管自然的需求要如何满足，小孩的奢望决不可满足，甚至连提都不要提。他们一说到这种东西，就该让他们失去它。当他们需要衣服时，他们就应该得到；但是如果他们要求这种材料、或那种颜色，他们就该得不到。我并不是让父母在无关紧要的事情上故意与孩子的愿望对立；相反，只要是他们的行为举止应得的，而且那肯定不会败坏或弄脆弱他们的精神，不会使他们热中于细枝末节，我认为在一切事上都要尽量让他们满足，使他们感到做事成功带来的轻松与快乐。最好是小孩根本不从这些事上寻找快乐，也不以奢欲来控制他们的喜乐；对于所有自然已经安排好的，却毫不在意。父母和老师应该力求做到这一点；但是在做到这一点之前，我所反对的只是小孩提要求的自由；在他们欲求的事情上，要用一贯的拒绝来约束。

This may perhaps be thought a little too severe, by the natural indulgence of tender parents: but yet it is no more than necessary. For since the method I propose is to banish the rod, this restraint of their tongues will be of great use to settle that awe we have elsewhere spoken of, and to keep up in them the respect and reverence due to their parents. Next, it will teach them to keep in, and so master their inclinations. By this means they will be brought to learn the art of stifling their desires, as soon as they rise up in them, when they are easiest to be subdued. For giving vent, gives life and strength to our appetites; and he that has the confidence to turn his wishes into demands, will be but a little way from thinking he ought to obtain them. This I am sure of, every one can more easily bear a denial from himself, than from any body else. They should therefore be accustomed betimes to consult and make use of their reason, before they give allowance to their inclinations. It is a great step towards the mastery of our desires, to give this stop to them, and shut them up in silence. This habit, got by children, of staying the forwardness of their fancies, and deliberating whether it be fit or no before they speak, will be of no small advantage to them in matters of greater consequence in the future course of their lives. For that which I cannot too often inculcate, is that whatever the matter be, about which it is conversant, whether great or small, the main (I had almost said only) thing to be considered, in every action of a child, is, what influence it will have upon his mind; what habit it tends to, and is like to settle in him; how it will become him when he is bigger; and, if it be encouraged, whither it will lead him when grown up.

慈爱的父母由于天性放任，也许会认为这种方法有点过于严厉：然而这并没有超出必须的要求。因为我提倡禁用鞭笞，这种限制他们提要求的方法很有用处，它可以帮助建立我们别处提到的小孩畏惧父母之心，也让他们保持对父母应有的尊重与崇敬。进而它可以教导他们克制与掌控他们的意向。因此他们可以学会压制自己欲望的技巧，就是在欲望刚刚产生、还最容易制伏时候去压制。因为欲望有释放的地方，就会变得活跃与强烈；那有信心把愿望变成要求的人，差不多觉得他理应得到满足。我确信这一点，就是相对于别人的拒绝，每个人更能承受自己的拒绝。所以在放任他们的欲求之前，小孩应该及早习惯于征询和运用自己的理智。阻止欲望，悄悄地不让它们说出来，是控制我们欲望的一个重要步骤。小孩如果习惯止住他们欲望的膨胀，在开口提出要求之前仔细考虑那是不是合适，对他们将来生活中关系重大的事情是有不小的益处的。对此我不能不再三叮嘱，不管事情是什么、是不是密切相关、大小如何，我们应该主要 (我几乎要说是唯一)考虑的是，小孩的每个行为对他的心理有什么影响，会导致他养成什么样的习惯，当他长大了是不是对他合宜；而且如果加以提倡，当他长大成人它会把他引向何方。

My meaning therefore is not, that children should purposely be made uneasy: this would relish too much of inhumanity and ill-nature, and be apt to infect them with it. They should be brought to deny their appetites; and their minds, as well as bodies, be made vigorous, easy, and strong, by the custom of having their inclinations in subjection, and their bodies exercised with hardships; but all this without giving them any mark or apprehension of ill-will towards them. The constant loss of what they craved or carved to themselves should teach them modesty, submission, and a power to forbear: but the rewarding their modesty and silence, by giving them what they liked, should also assure them of the love of those who rigorously exacted this obedience. The contenting themselves now, in the want of what they wished for, is a virtue, that another time should be rewarded with what is suited and acceptable to them; which should be bestowed on them, as if it were a natural consequence of their good behaviour, and not a bargain about it. But you will lose your labour, and, what is more, their love and reverence too, if they can receive from others what you deny them. This is to be kept very staunch, and carefully to be watched. And here the servants come again in my way.

所以我的意思并不是故意为难小孩：这是不人道与恶毒的，会让小孩受其传染。他们应该拒绝自己的欲望；并且通过习于抑制自己的欲求和使自己的身体经历困苦，把他们的精神与身体都弄得有活力、轻松和强壮；但这总不要让他们感受到任何恶意。他们常常得不到自己恳求与刻意追求的东西，可以教他们学会谦逊、顺从与忍耐；但是应该用他们喜爱的东西去奖励他们的谦逊与静默，使他们明白那些严格要求他们这样服从的人，也是爱他们的。他们现在能安于得不到自己期盼的东西，这是一种美德，日后应该用对他们合适而又合他们心意的东西来奖励他们；这应该作为他们良好行为的自然结果给予他们，而不是作为一种交换条件。但是如果他们能从别人那里得到你所拒绝的东西，那你的努力就白费了，进而你也失去他们对你的爱与尊重。这应该坚决地制止，小心地留意。这里我又想到了仆人的问题。

CURIOSITY ｜ If this be begun by times, and they accustom themselves early to silence their desires, this useful habit will settle them; and as they come to grow up in age and discretion, they may be allowed greater liberty, when reason comes to speak in them, and not passion. For whenever reason would speak, it should be hearkened to. But, as they should never be heard, when they speak for any particular thing they would have, unless it be first proposed to them; so they should always be heard, and fairly and kindly answered, when they ask after any thing they would know, and desire to be informed about. Curiosity should be as carefully cherished in children, as other appetites suppressed.

好奇心 ｜  如果这能及时开始，他们能早早地习于压制自己欲望，这个有益的习惯可以使他们安定下来；当他们年纪和判断力都增长，凭藉理智而不是激情来行事，他们就可以有更大的自由。因为理智所指示都应该听从。但是当他们提出任何特别的要求，如果那不是你首先向他们提议的，就不要听他们的；然而当他们询问任何他们想知道的事情，期望被开导，那就应该随时听取他们的问题，清楚而诚实地回答他们。孩子的其它欲望要压制，但他们的好奇心应该小心地珍惜爱护。

RECREATION ｜ However strict an hand is to be kept upon all desires of fancy, yet there is one case wherein fancy must be permitted to speak, and be hearkened to also. Recreation is as necessary as labour or food. But because there can be no recreation without delight, which depends not always on reason, but oftner fancy, it must be permitted children not only to divert themselves, but to do it after their own fashion, provided it be innocently, and without prejudice to their health; and therefore in this case they should not be denied, if they proposed any particular kind of recreation. Though I think in a well-ordered education, they will seldom be brought to the necessity of asking any such liberty. Care should be taken, that what is of advantage to them, they should always do with delight; and before they are wearied with one, they should be timely diverted to some other useful employment. But if they are not yet brought to that degree of perfection, that one way of improvement can be made a recreation to them, they must be let loose to the childish play they fancy; which they should be weaned from by being made to surfeit of it. But from things of use, that they are employed in, they should always be sent away with an appetite; at least be dismissed before they are tired, and grow quite sick of it, that so they may return to it again, as to a pleasure that diverts them. For you must never think them set right, till they can find delight in the practice of laudable things; and the useful exercises of the body and mind, taking their turns, make their lives and improvement pleasant in a continued train of recreations, wherein the wearied part is constantly relieved and refreshed. Whether this can be done in every temper, or whether tutors and parents will be at the pains, and have the discretion and patience to bring them to this, I know not; but that it may be done in most children, if a right course be taken to raise in them the desire of credit, esteem, and reputation, I do not at all doubt. And when they have so much true life put into them, they may freely be talked with about what most delights them, and be directed or let loose to it; so that they may perceive that they are beloved and cherished, and that those under whose tuition they are, are not enemies to their satisfaction. Such a management will make them in love with the hand that directs them, and the virtue they are directed to.

娱乐 |  虽然所有喜好欲求都应该严格禁止，但有一个喜好事例必须允许小孩诉求，并且注意倾听。娱乐与劳作或食物一样是必要的。但是因为没有任何娱乐不带有快乐，而快乐并不一直依靠理性，它更经常地依靠喜好，所以不仅要允许孩子自寻娱乐，还要让他们按自己的方式去娱乐，只要这娱乐是无害的，不会损害他们的健康；所以在这种情形下，如果他们提议任何特别的娱乐方式，我们不能拒绝他们的要求。虽然我认为在有良好条理的教育中，他们很少需要去要求这样的自由。我们要当心，对他们有益的，他们应该总是高高兴兴地去做；而且在他们厌倦做某件事之前，应该及时转移他们的注意力去做别的有益的事情。但是如果他们还不能达到那完美的程度，也就是把进步当作一种娱乐消遣，那就应该放手让他们玩他们喜好的幼稚游戏，让他们玩个够，使他们不想再玩。而他们正在从事的那些有益的事情，他们应该在仍留有欲望的时候放下不做；至少在他们厌倦与很讨厌它之前就不让他们做了，当他们回头再做时，仍如回到一件使他们愉悦的快乐事情。因为你决不能认为他们已经走上正途，除非他们能从正从事的高尚事业找到乐趣，他们的身心都有机会得到有益的练习，使他们在一连串的娱乐中生活与进步都很快乐，其中疲乏的部分总能得到放松休息。这是不是对每一种性格都奏效，或者是不是导师与父母都肯努力，都慎重和耐心地使小孩达到这种境界，这我不太清楚；但是如果运用正确的途径使小孩追求信任、尊重与名誉，那大多数孩子可以达到这种境界，这我是毫不怀疑的。而且当他们有了很多真实的生活经历，就可以与他们谈论那些使他们最愉快的事情，对其进行指导或是予以放任；这样他们会感受到自己所受的钟爱与珍视，明白那些教导他们的人并不是反对他们得到满足的敌人。这样的管教会使他们喜爱那些指教他们的人，也会热爱他们被指引要取得的美德。

This farther advantage may be made by a free liberty permitted them in their recreations, that it will discover their natural tempers, show their inclinations and aptitudes, and thereby direct wise parents in the choice, both of the course of life and employment they shall design them for, and of fit remedies, in the mean time, to be applied to whatever bent of nature they may observe most likely to mislead any of their children.

允许小孩在娱乐消遣有自由，这还有更进一步的益处，就是可以发现他们天生的脾性，看出他们的倾向与能力，由此可以指导父母为他们选择预计的生活与事业的道路，同时为小孩本性中最可能使其误入歧途的嗜好，找到合适的补救方法。

2. COMPLAINTS | Children who live together, often strive for mastery, whose wills shall carry it over the rest: whoever begins the contest, should be sure to be crossed in it. But not only that, but they should be taught to have all the deference, complaisance, and civility one for the other imaginable. This, when they see it procures them respect, love and esteem, and that they lose no superiority by it, they will take more pleasure in, than in insolent domineering; for so plainly is the other.

2. 抱怨 |  生活在一起的小孩，常常争作主宰，以自己的意志来支配其余的人；无论是谁开始的争斗，一定要制止他。不仅如此，还要尽量教他们尊重、体谅、以及相互间的礼貌。当他们看到这可以为他们赢得尊敬、爱与钦佩，而他们的地位不会因此受损，他们就会更高兴这样做，而不是喜欢傲慢地支使人；因为事实是明显相反的。

The accusations of children one against another, which usually are but the clamours of anger and revenge, desiring aid, should not be favourably received nor hearkened to. It weakens and effeminates their minds to suffer them to complain; and if they endure sometimes crossing or pain from others without being permitted to think it strange or intolerable, it will do them no harm to learn sufferance, and harden them early. But though you give no countenance to the complaints of the querulous, yet take care to curb the insolence and ill nature of the injurious. When you observe it yourself, reprove it before the injured party: but if the complaint be of something really worth your notice and prevention another time, then reprove the offender by himself alone, out of sight of him that complained, and make him go and ask pardon, and make reparation. Which coming thus, as it were from himself, will be the more cheerfully performed, and more kindly received, the love strengthened between them, and a custom of civility grow familiar amongst your children.

小孩相互间的指控攻击，一般只是愤怒与报复的呼喊，想要得到帮助，不应该爽快地接受或倾听。抱怨诉苦会使他们的精神脆弱无力；如果他们能够忍受不时的从别人那儿来的干扰和痛苦，不觉得陌生或不堪忍受，这样他们能早早地学会忍耐，变得坚强，对他们是没有害处的。虽然你不鼓励发牢骚的人的抱怨，你还是应该抑制害人者的粗鲁与恶劣。如果你亲眼看到事情发生，你应该当着受害者的面加以斥责；如果被抱怨的事情真的值得你的注意，为防止再次发生，你该单独责备冒犯者，被让抱怨的人看见，叫他去请求原谅，并且加以补偿。这样一来，就象出于他的自愿，可以更乐意地去实行，也更客气地被接受，他们之间的爱得以增强，礼貌习惯会在你的孩子中间变得常见。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)