Since she can hurt you, you better win her back. Or you will ...

Love and Hate are +/- emotions. Only you care to search for her, that prove you value her.
(You won't care what happens to your next door person's spouse or daughter/son. Whatever, your neighour do, do not bother you)
Whatever your "wife" does, matters to you. If you don't value your "wife", you would not be looking for her at all.
Value your time and life and chances. As always, to make your relationship works, because she falls for you for 5 years and she will fall you again, if you show up first...that is romantic... Only when you are marrying yourself, would your partner behaves and agrees or accepts with everything that you do or desire. She has "sold to you" and you have "bought her" before. The important message is that, she has only sold to you and you have only accepted her. Without her, you feel the pain of neglect and that neglect also affects her. No-one has a better chance than you, because you have the past, present and the future. Since you have studied hard, you will "know" how and what works...I can only write in English, because I cannot write well, in Chinese. Everyone makes mistakes and please do not let a mistake defines you. You are Ok to accept and forgive mistake, as long as your partner can reciprocate - give and receive. Enjoy your life and the companionship. Life is short. Every minute and chance is a race. life can end at any time and without your agreement/choice. I wish you success and happy, not sadness - when time becomes stand-still, motionless, waiting, or seeing other took your place, no-one is the same as her or as you, no emotion is the same, no hate is the same, no love is the same. You have won and you have lose. Your chance is still in sight. Go for your happiness and heart-ache and peace...phone her...talk to her...before someone else beats you to her...