my feeling

I missed my period this Monday, I guess I am pregnant again, that is what I always want. But just can’t be happy. This past Monday, my hu*****and lost his job. The company let him go without any explanation according to him. He did not give me any information about his laid off.

Last night, I found out that he was unfaithful again. The first time I found out when I was pregnant with my first child. And this time, he cheated with his boss. He never stops cheating.

I have been very forgiving and tolerant about what he has done in the past because I thought about my daughter. In her life, she needs both of us. I want her to grow up happily. I did not tell anyone, and kept it to myself.

Last night, I called my parents and let them know what happened. I knew that I should not have done that, but this time I need support from my family. They told me to make a decision about my life, my daughter, and this unborn baby. It is only half a month old, but I don’t want to give it up…

My hu*****and has not been giving me and the family any happiness, but only painful memories.

I really don’t want to make any decisions, my brain is not functional now. He does not want to divorce. But this is not the life I want. He just could not give us a simple life at all.

If I keep the marriage, I know that I definitely keep the baby. But I am afraid about the future, it would be better for them? I don’t know how long I can endure it…

If I don’t keep the marriage, I know that I have to make choice about this baby.

It is very painful….