To answer the question you asked at the end:

"Is it possible that some Chinese-born women in America want the best of two cultures, and end up with nothing?" I can tell that although my sister made many mistakes in her life she actually ends up with an American man as wonderful as the Chinese men you described (I wanted to keep this to the end of the story). Those wonderful men as you described exist everywhere. For women as my sister the most important thing is to know how to learn from life and finally get the happiness they want.

Thanks again for your input.