thank you all so much

I can't express how much I appreicated all your advice and warmth. I understand that things like this have to be decided by the person self, but listening to you helped a lot.

I called my boyfriend earlier on. I decided to tell him frankly what was in my mind, but not making up some excuses. He was genuinely shocked that I would quit the relationship becuase I was not sure if I can 'take' in his health issues. He said he would choose a different stand if we switched the place. I believed him. Sometimes I think that's why I am attracted to him. He has a lot mental power and strength.

We also talked about his spine problem and depression.It is the first time we openly talk about it. He sounds a lot optimistic regarding the both than I do. That kind makes me think that I was overworried.

Anyways, he said he understood my decision. He did not really try to change my mind. I guess he was disappointed and also tired of all those dramas I throwed at him. He always thought things were great until last week I said I was considering quit. He said he would not mind to break up right away, or he would go along if I want to take a longer time to think it over. So I chose the latter--i just felt very reluctant to break up after talking to him again. Maybe things will turn out clearer after I put it aside for a moment.

Anyways...thank you all again.