回复：感情求助

I cant believe I am writing two posts here in one day about relationships. :)

I think MM should be honest with yourself what exactly has been bothering you. My guess is that you are worried that you and him are having the best time of your life but what if in 10 years his health problem deteriors, you not only have to take care of him, but also the kids. it will be draining emotionally and financially. Right? I know this sounded a little too pratical, but when it comes to marriage, you have every right to think of all the possibilities. I believe all women dream of sharing her quality life with someone for as long as she can. Some didnt work out in the end for unforseeable reason, but when you already know the future may not go as you wished, the choice is much harder.

Secondly, if you leave him for this speculation of the future, you will feel guilty, feel you couldnt choose pure love over other practical factors. You love him, you dont want to be the less 'wei da' person in the relationship.

My question for you is that do you know the cause of his depression? Some depressions are situational, meaning it can be caused by some trauma but it can be treated by meds. People who suffered from it can fight it off and eventually be meds free. The others can be genetic -biological, depression was caused by brain chemical inbalance, which was imbeded in them since birth. Usually people belong to this case will have to depend on meds all their lives.
It is very said to see someone fighting with depression and it certainly puts on great stress on the relationship. The other person in the relationship usually becomes the care giver (emotionally) and the depressed person may not be capable to loving and thoughtful while he is having an episode.

What I am trying to say is that the depression is something can be take lightly. If your BF is the second case, you also need to consider the possiblity of not having kids, since there is a high chance your kids will have it. Can you deal with that?

As for the health issue, we all get some health condition in our lives. Of course we want the person we love stand by us as they promised in the wedding vow. But as I said before, making the choice when you know the possibility is there is totally different from being loyal to your marriage when something happen later on.

If you choose to be with him, please make sure you are not making the decision betting on everything will turn out to be fine. Make sure this is the decision assuming what you worried will happen. Otherwise, you are just avoiding the reality.

I jsut want to share some thoughts with me, hope you have a happy life.