为什么我找不到工作？
问题：
2009年，我从一所顶尖的美国大学毕业，拿到了欧洲历史学位，但从那以来，我就一直难以在美国找到工作。我试过民用情报，然后是金融和风险资本——从销售到警察，各行各业都尝试过。现在我走投无路，打算加入规模膨胀的美国军队。我相信，我受到的文科教育为我进入职场打下了良好的基础（我还会讲俄语），但好像雇主们并不认可。他们更喜欢州立大学毕业的商科或市场营销专业的人选。是哪儿出了问题？
失业者，男，25岁
露西的回答：
很多地方都出了问题。供求关系对你不利：历史系毕业生太多，可是工作岗位却不够。除非你毕业于一所超级顶尖的大学（牛津、剑桥、哈佛等等），否则你那张纸还真没办法给雇主留下特别深刻的印象。
就职业生涯来说，你的学历完全是浪费时间。它并没有为你进入职场做好准备，写几篇关于俾斯麦(Bismarck)或者克里米亚战争起因的论文，并不能为由电子表格和营销活动构成的世界打好基础。
这不是说你浪费了三年时光。如果我是你妈妈，我不会打击你学历史的积极性——我的女儿就在学历史。不过她不像你，她并没有期待自己的学历能换来有利可图的就业前景。我刚刚给她打过电话，看她是不是觉得毕业后会很容易地找到工作。她回答说，当然不会，仿佛这是她听到过的最愚蠢的问题。
历史学位的意义不在于最终找份工作，而在于拓宽思路，学着写出好句子——这些东西本身固然很好，但对于你进入职场既不是必需的，也是不够的。三、四年的大学时光应该还会让你厌倦穷学生东游西逛的生活，为工作做好准备。
就你的情况而言，错上加错的并不是就业市场，而是你对就业市场的态度。走出大学校门时毫无头绪是完全正常的，但你应该逐渐学会装出有头绪的样子。在销售、警察、银行这些行业之间跳来跳去，只会降低他们当中任何一个录用你的机会。更好的做法是专注于一个领域，然后了解需要怎样才会被录用，是另一个学位？还是需要实习？如果一个人连假装想得到那份工作都做不到，那么不管他有什么学历，雇主都不会想录用的。
眼下，参军听上去还算是一个不错的计划。即使只弄明白了自己不想做什么，也是一个好的开端。至少你能学到一些对职场有帮助的技能，比如服从领导。
读者的建议
马克思主义者的建议
马克思在其著作《德意志意识形态》(German Ideology)里，描述了一位对生活感到满足的人：他上午打猎，下午捕鱼，晚上从事哲学批判。选定一行（当兵？）并坚持干下去：你很快就会飞黄腾达，此外，在你遭遇到人生中不可避免的逆境时，你的这段经历会变成你的内在财富——那些学营销的人不仅缺乏、而且根本无从知晓这种财富。
匿名，男
别再怨天尤人
我猜你是个蜜罐儿里泡大、爱发牢骚的家伙，要是这样，当兵可能真的非常适合你。相信我——我自己也是学文科（古典文学）的，也曾当过军官——当兵是你大学毕业后头份工作的最佳选择。
副总裁，男，40岁
去作咖啡师
你似乎正在为一种错觉所困，认为欧洲历史学学位在当今（或者说在以往）的就业市场上值点什么。我来打消你这种错觉吧。你拥有的是一个“您想在您的拿铁里加点调味料吗”学位。既然你俄语很流利，我建议你给星巴克(Starbucks)发份简历。你可能会在莫斯科冲泡拿铁和玛奇朵(macchiatos)。
前咖啡师，女，40岁
继续找啊
现在正值衰退，你的学位又不特别实用，如此踏上职业生涯确实有点背。但这总比出生在卢旺达又有先天性颚裂好吧。去找个职业顾问，弄清楚你到底擅长干哪行。然后照这个目标去找。
退休财务总监，男
变聪明点吧
我非常理解你的处境。我曾是旧金山一家公司的会计主任，如今却被告知不要再做会计工作了，因为我没有商学学位（碰巧，我也会讲俄语）。但我建议你别去当兵，而是像我这样去读MBA。
匿名，男
去告那些出蠢主意的人
温习一下法律，去起诉你的职业顾问和历史老师，罪名是没劝阻你去读一个无用学科贵得可笑的学位。
英文对照
Why can’t I get a job?
The problem
In 2009, I graduated from a top-tier
Unemployed, male, 25
Lucy’s answer
Quite a lot has gone wrong. Supply and demand are against you: there are too many history graduates and not enough jobs. Unless your degree is from a super-top university (
In career terms your degree has been a waste of time. It has not prepared you for the workforce at all: writing essays about
That isn’t to say that you wasted your three years. If I were your mother, I wouldn’t have discouraged you from studying history – in fact my own daughter is doing just that. But unlike you, she has no expectation that her degree will lead to gainful employment. I just phoned her to check whether she thought it would be easy to find a job when she graduated. Obviously not, she replied, as if this were the dumbest question she had ever been asked.
The point of a history degree is not to get a job at the end of it but to broaden the mind, to learn to write a proper sentence – something that, though good in itself, is neither necessary nor sufficient to get on in corporate life. Three or four years at university should also leave you weary of mooching round as a penniless student and ready for a proper job.
What has gone doubly wrong in your case is not so much the job market but your approach to it. It is perfectly normal to be clueless on leaving university – but you need to get better at faking it. By casting about between sales, the police force and banking, you reduce your chances of being taken on by any of them. It would have been better to concentrate on one area and then find out what you needed in order to be hired. Another degree? An internship? No employer wants to employ anyone – whatever degree they might have – if that person can’t even pretend they are gagging for the job.
For now, being in the military sounds like a good scheme. Even if you only learn what you don’t want to do with your life, that will be a start. At least you’ll be picking up some skills that really do help in the workforce. Like doing what you are told
Your advice
Marxist advice
In his German Ideology, Marx described the fulfilled man as hunting in the morning, fishing in the afternoon and philosophising in the evening. Go into something (the military?) and stick with it: you will rise rapidly, and in the inevitable times of adversity in your life you will have internal resources which those who studied marketing will not only lack but be quite unaware of. Anon, male
Stop whining
I suspect you come across as an overprivileged whiner, in which case the military might be perfect for you. Trust me, as a liberal arts major myself (classics) and former military officer, you can’t beat the military for your first job after university. Vice-president, male, 40
Become a barista
You seem to be labouring under the delusion that a degree in European history is worth anything in today’s job market – or ever. Let me disabuse you of that notion. What you have is a would-you-like-a-flavour-shot-in-your-latte degree. Since you’re fluent in Russian, I would recommend sending your resume to Starbucks. You could be slinging lattes and macchiatos in
Get on with it
In a recession with a degree that is not immediately usable you’ve had an unlucky start. But it’s not as bad as being born with a cleft palate in
Wise up
I quite sympathise. I was controller of a
Sue for stupidity
Brush up on law and sue your careers adviser and history teacher for not talking you out of a silly expensive degree in a worthless subject. Anon
