话说三年前普京入侵乌克兰，大军直抵基辅，赌的是乌克兰不堪一击，会马上投降。结果乌克兰坚决抵抗，普京只好收缩行动计划，专攻乌东。
三年后旧事重演。川普先是对盟友、对手一轮疯狂操作，做的美梦是各国会蜂拥来朝乞降。然后却发现中国、欧盟坚决反击，而自己这里股市、债市双跌，大事不妙。这才急忙把关税暂缓90天，只留一个对手：中国。
当天川普自己都承认这是他早上才决定的。可笑的是MAGA份子们痰迷心窍，竟然谄媚地胡说什么这是川普早就计划好的一盘大棋，连中国老祖宗的“上房抽梯”计都用上了。这让川普都有些不好意思：你说的是什么计，我咋没听说过呢？
咱们就假设这是真的，川普真的事先筹划了这一切。可是这话千万别让川普的首席贸易谈判代表 Jamieson Greer 听见。
那天这伙计正在国会听证会上为川普的关税辩护。突然传来了消息，川普已经把关税暂停了。民主党众议员 Steven Horsford 就对他开炮了：
“So, the trade representative hasn't spoken to the President of the United States about a global reordering of trade and yet he announced it on a tweet? WTF, who's in charge?” Horsford said, before arguing, “It looks like your boss just pulled the rug out from under you and paused the tariffs, the taxes on the American people.”
"There's no strategy you just found out three seconds ago, sitting here, we saw you," he said, while also asking Greer why he hadn't disclosed plans to pause the tariffs earlier in the testimony if he was aware beforehand of the president's eventual announcement.
Greer 虽然心情沮丧，但是还是自我安慰：“总统这是临时决定的，情况紧急，所以没来得及告诉我就宣布了。”
回家后，Greer 上网打开文学城网页，一眼就看到了那篇“上房抽梯”的帖子。一下子怒火满胸膛：“我总算明白了，这趴在房顶的原来是我，White House's top trade negotiator 啊！”
