七律 南京
蔽日苍梧掩古街,依稀踏巷六朝鞋
吴天细雨听轻落,楚地长空压重霾
扬子霓涛说扬子,秦淮铅瓦叹情怀
都言此地难皇业,白日青天起也筛
七律 南京
蔽日苍梧掩古街,依稀踏巷六朝鞋
吴天细雨听轻落,楚地长空压重霾
扬子霓涛说扬子,秦淮铅瓦叹情怀
都言此地难皇业,白日青天起也筛
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改成“ 白鹭难存常白露,秦淮不乏实情怀” 怎么样?
-一剑无痕-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
13:50:48
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龙叔和山水君在伯仲之间,你还要再谦虚点~
-核桃小丸子-
♀
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07/26/2022 postreply
14:51:16
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丸子班长此言欠妥矣。龙湖君与一剑君博学多才,文笔老辣,需要向他们好好学习。龙湖君此律拈韵颇险,步韵跟学一首,见笑
-山水苍茫-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
18:36:15
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好诗!
-一剑无痕-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
19:15:27
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好!谢谢,欣赏 :)
-龙湖山-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
19:22:19
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多谢龙湖君一剑君鼓励,问好!还请不吝赐教!
-山水苍茫-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
19:53:10
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白露不算好,配不上情怀。其实用扬子比杨子渡也是欠点。我让形式给困住了:)
-龙湖山-
♂
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07/26/2022 postreply
19:21:44
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