当父母的，应该有自己的生活（转帖自博客评论）

qsnfj 评论于：2009-12-15 14:47:01

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so many people said so much about the mother, and i did also expressed something about the mother. but some people are defending her saying she is a great mother, and would never harm her daughter.

i am guessing, the mother probably did truly love her daughter, and never wanted to harm her daughter in anyway. she had a tough life raising the kids alone. she may be a great mother in that sense, but she is not a healthy mother psychologically.

well, the mother may not have realized what she did would have impacted her daughter negatively. She may not consciously try to harm her daughter. But the problem is that, she did not seem to have a life of her own, from the fact that she had followed her daughter everywhere, spent time with her at all time, leaving her no personal time and space. She may try to convince herself that she loved her daughter, she did all that to help her daughter. But the truth was, she tried to live a life "through her daughter", and to fulfill her dreams and goals through her daughter.

she may have made her (daughter) feel guilty for leaving her. she may have brought up all the "miseries" from her past, such as losing her hu*****and, and raising kids all by herself. And all the miseries would make the daughter feel very guilty for leaving her mother and to start her own life.

a strong healthy mother would choose to live a life of her own. she would visit her daughter from time to time, and to give support to her when needed, but meanwhile, build her own life, by having a job, and/or having a spouse etca strong healthy mother would choose to live a life of her own. she would visit her daughter from time to time, and to give support to her when needed, but meanwhile, build her own life, by having a job, and/or having a spouse etc.If she is happy and indepedent, the daughter would not have felt so down and so burdened by their family miseries and misfortune.

dont' know if most Chinese colleges have counseling department with counselors providing help confidentially. if so, if this girl seeked help through a professional, she may have been saved.

所有跟帖： 

• 当父母的，从年轻时就应该有自己的生活 -退隐老妖- ♀ (172 bytes) () 12/16/2009 postreply 17:44:05