by Ezra Pound
The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.
下面是国人的各种翻译:
地下铁
(美) 庞德
人潮中这些面容的忽现;
湿巴巴的黑树丫上的花瓣。(罗池)
人群中幻影般浮现的脸
潮湿的,黑色树枝上的花瓣。(钟鲲)
人群中这些脸庞的幻影;
潮湿又黑的树枝上的花瓣。(成婴)
人群中这些面庞的闪现;
湿漉的黑树干上的花瓣。(赵毅衡)
这几张脸在人群中幻景般闪现;
湿漉漉的黑树枝上花瓣数点。(飞白)
出现在人群里这一张张面孔;
湿的黑树枝上的一片片花瓣。(张子清)
人群里这些脸忽然闪现;
花丛在一条湿黑的树枝。(流沙河)
人群中,这些面孔的鬼影;
潮湿的黑树枝上的花瓣。(余光中)
人群中千张脸孔的魅影;
一条湿而黑的树枝上的花瓣。(洛夫)
这些面孔浮现于人群;
花瓣潮湿的黑树枝。(颜元叔)
在这拥挤的人群里这个美貌的突现;
一如花瓣在潮湿里,如暗淡的树枝。(周伯乃)
众中梦幻身影,黝湿枝头疏花。(吴其尧)
我找到的最精炼的翻译:
客驿风尘面 (风尘里长出幻影?还是风尘本就是幻影?)
花坐墨痕枝 (wet,black太写实了吧,怎么就想到墨痕了?)
The River Merchant's Wife: A Letter
While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead
I played about the front gate, pulling flowers.
You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
And we went on living in the village of Chokan:
Two small people, without dislike or suspicion.
At fourteen I married my lord you.
I never laughed, being bashful.
Lowering my head, I looked at the wall.
Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back.
At fifteen I stopped scowling,
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
For ever and for ever and for ever.
Why should I clime the look out?
At sixteen you departed,
You went into far Ku-to-yen, by the river of swirling eddies,
And you have been gone five months,
The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead.
You dragged your feet when you went out,
By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
Too deep to clear them away!
The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
The paired butterflies are already yellow with August
Over the grass in the West garden;
They hurt me. I grow older.
If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang,
Please let me know beforehand,
And I will come out to meet you,
As far as Cho-fu-Sa.
据说(只是据说),庞德的这首诗在美国是家喻户晓,不过美国人不一定知道这是翻译李白的“长干行”吧?可能他们也不在乎,只是喜欢庞德而已。
妾发初覆额,折花门前剧。
郎骑竹马来,绕床弄青梅。
同居长干里,两小无嫌猜。
十四为君妇,羞颜未尝开。
低头向暗壁,千唤不一回。
十五始展眉,愿同尘与灰。
常存抱柱信,岂上望夫台。
十六君远行,瞿塘滟预堆。
五月不可触,猿鸣天上哀。
门前迟行迹,一一生绿苔。
苔深不能扫,落叶秋风早。
八月蝴蝶黄,双飞西园草。
感此伤妾心,坐愁红颜老。
早晚下三巴,预将书报家。
相迎不道远,直至长风沙。
愿同尘与灰,I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
For ever and for ever and for ever. 这个强!
五月不可触, And you have been gone five months, 我觉得是错译,原诗指五月瞿塘峡暗礁淹没,行船极度危险。
八月蝴蝶黄,The paired butterflies are already yellow with August,据说春天多彩蝶,秋天多黄蝶,随着季节的变迁蝴蝶仿佛也褪去了生命的色彩,这个译得到位。
感此伤妾心,坐愁红颜老,They hurt me. I grow older,这也未免太小觑中国女性丰富的情感世界了吧?“小妇人”vs.“牡丹亭”?
还有一首译得不错:
And she was a courtesan in the old day,
And she has married a sot,
Who now goes drunkenly out
And leaves her too much alone.
昔为娼家女,今为荡子妇。
荡子行不归,空床难独守。
流畅而有韵律,有意境。一定说得是中国的故事吗?英国的,法国的都说得通吧?茶花女,交际花盛衰记?是不是有一种张爱玲式的茶都凉了的感觉?
In a Station of Metro
所有跟帖:
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他是中国通吗?
-wistara-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:17:27
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琼瑶奶奶改歌词改得最好
-Aerie-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:24:58
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现在怎么没什么人改了呢?有一百个办法可以改的让谁都看不出来奥秘。
-wistara-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:34:12
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宋词填好了就是唱的
-欧阳春风-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:33:18
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大陆会填词的人还是有的。至少地下很多。也可以搜到很多。
-wistara-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:36:57
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我说的是会填词的音乐人
-欧阳春风-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:45:30
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回头我攻两天平仄,再改行作个音乐人。不就有了嘛:P
-wistara-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:59:03
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以前有谁讨论过这首。额还是以为WET是这个句子中最好的词,
-Aerie-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:18:57
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所以墨痕未干的话,WET就翻了
-欧阳春风-
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08/15/2009 postreply
20:36:52
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I like this one too:)
-红豆豆-
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08/15/2009 postreply
23:12:42