shall i ask him again about the offer?thanks a lot

i had an interview with a guy whom is the manager of that firm. but i didn't get the 2nd interview chance. so shall i email him and ask him any feedback(is several weeks ago) as well as any position available for me?

can i do that? b/c during the interview, he said my english is good(oral)?

thanks and how to write it? like this simple

HI XXXX:

This is XXXXX. i had an interview with you a couple of weeks ago at XXX university.i hope you can remember.so,any feedback for that?

i will graduate in march, so is there any position available?

thanks

XXXXX