可能的职场凌霸这周的更新。我被单位判定上周的情况是disruptive behaviors。欢迎网友们提意见和建议。谢谢

她们弄了一个Decision Making Leave （DML）的文件. 要求我出一个action plan. 文中的英文部分摘自我给L的邮件（稍微做了一些改动）. 其实我月中就会在新单位上班了，我和她们交涉就是想看看她们到底怎么处理这件事情。 关于给软件公司那个项目经理发私人邮件的事，我确实做的比较愚蠢。

邮件中涉及的人物：L -  Employee Relations specialist; R - my supervisor, director; Lilly, Executive Director, R's supervisor; Tina - the bully; Gina - 我们要升级的那个软件公司的项目经理；T - 我们部门的一个同事，已经找到新工作，这周五是她在这个单位的最后一天。

Good afternoon, L.

Thank you for sending me the DML documents and the template of the action plan. That was very considerate of you to include the action plan template.

BTW, what is a Decision Making Leave? Is it related to a 单位 Policy? If so, do you mind sending it to me so I know what is going on?

I'd like to summarize the meeting this morning at 10:30 AM with you, Lilly, and 单位employee relations的另外一个同事（因为Lilly和L都是remote，所以她们找了当地的一个同事）.

The key takeaways from the meeting:

1. Employee Relations and 我们部门did not find any discriminations or retaliations R had committed against me. 

2. Employee Relations and 我们部门found my actions from September 26th to 27th being disruptive and had given me a list of 4 expectations. I would need to come up with an action plan to meet the expectations.

3. I was told by both L and Lilly that I have the options of either resigning from 单位 or working on the action plan to improve my conduct. The action plan had to be acceptable to Lilly, otherwise I would face termination.

Even though R didn't sign the DML document, her "signature" is everywhere in the document where she severely exaggerated what really had happened to support her conclusion of me being disruptive.

1. On Tuesday, September 26, 2023. Team meeting from 10-11 AM. After R was done discussing my progress with work, I asked her if I could take off at 3:30. She said it was okay and reminded me to use the PTO. Later I asked her politely if I could interrupt her for a minute and she said ok. So I informed her I would no longer need to leave early as 孩子的 dad will take him. 

According to the DML document, "After the team meeting, 我 entered the regulatory office where four staff were present.  我 was reportedly very upset, loud and disruptive. " This was absolutely false. When I went to speak with T, I even asked her if I was interrupting anything or if she would prefer we spoke somewhere else. That showed I was trying to be discreet yet how I could be loud or disruptive at the same time. I'm so used to R's abusive way by now, I might have been slightly upset, but far from "very upset". As I told L before, the whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes so I don't see where the disruption was from. 

2. According to the DML document, "On Wednesday, September 27, 2023, it is reported 我 stormed into a shared office space a little after 8:30 a.m.  She was yelling at staff stating they needed to “watch their backs,” warning them people will “turn us in” for things.  我 was reported to be aggressive and using a very threatening tone."

I didn't "storm into" the office, I was at the doorway. I might have told them to watch their backs, but I definitely did not say “turn us in” as that is just not part of my vocabulary. I might have tried to warn them and had used a warning tone, but I definitely did not yell or use a "threatening tone". 两个同事 are new and I hardly have any interactions with them, there are reasons I may want to warn them about Tina, but why would I be aggressive towards them or threaten them? It just doesn't make sense.

The DML document continues " The Lead who witnessed this behavior asked 我 to stop, citing how unprofessional and inappropriate her behavior was.  我 proceeded to follow the Lead to her office continuing to yell at her.  Staff were able to hear the interaction down the hall and reported being very uncomfortable with the situation, so much so they shut their door and placed a door stop behind it to slow her from entering their office again if she returned." 

Wow, that was pretty vivid as if R were in the room when what she imagined had happened. Also I don't recall the lead Tina said anything about unprofessional and inappropriate. I would say she was more embarrassed at the time to say anything like that because I just publicly disclosed her true color: being a snitch. As to what happened in Tina's office, she tried to tell me she和另外两个同事didn't know about my salary, she said only R knows. She also tried to tell me why she reported me when I talked about the rate of my pay raise. She accused me of creating a lot of dramas. I did not yell at her, I only questioned her what the reason was when she reported my friend’s visit to my office.    

3. Per the DML document, "On Thursday September 28, 2023, the Executive Director received an email from a third-party vendor of 单位’s which included emails from 我 to the vendor where 我 implied to the vendor that one of her coworkers should not be trusted by the vendor. " 

R once told us at a team meeting on Tuesday that she was going to get Gina fired. Not sure who she was talking about, I asked who Gina was, thinking she was someone inside 单位. R said Gina from XXX. On multiple team meetings, she had mentioned Gina was looking for blood. After I learned she was going to have Gina fired, I felt bad for Gina as I had thought she was doing a good job and very knowledgeable about the software. So I reached out to her from my personal email account praising her being smart to have everything in writing as words could be twisted.

Even though I do not agree with 单位's decision that I was being disruptive as it was based on R's twisted words, I will work on the action plan and meet you at the same meeting room at 10 AM tomorrow.

Thanks.