most of interesting jobs are in metro areas

I failed to see how, if our kids can manage to college, they have difficulty picking a more promising place to start their life, the population chaning patten, at least for NY, is that young people come in, and move out when they become more established,

exactly on the contrast, there is no such "out-of-towner" treatment for anyone in US, try to imagine your kids have to pay everything extra to live in Beijing, for example, if he/she doesn't have a Beijing "HoKou",