回复：蜜鸟 (honeybird)，谈谈让我感到不舒服的地方

Honeybird,
Read your story and all the feed backs, a few words from my own experience to share.
I agree with Leaf and some other people stated earlier- have the feeling that your bf does not love you as much as you love him. The reason is simply that he is not willing to sacrifice anything for you to make you happier.
Use my own experience as example. Prior to marriage, we both agreed on several things. The first agreement is my hu*****and will move to China with me when time is right even though he had all the same excuses like language barrier and lack of networks. After married for several years, we discovered and discussed the difference on the TaiWan, Tibet, Democracy issues, fortunately he is not that brain-washed and red-neck,he is pretty open minded, so I was able to convince him to agree on my opinions on those issues. The point here is for someone deeply loves you, he will respect you and do things to make you happier.

I have a few ABC/CBC friends and dated one before. They are all well educated, nice looking professionals. But somehow I felt they are lack of confidence deep in their heart. Of course this does not mean they are not confident about themselves. Maybe this is due to the identity confusion they had to go through when they were young. I do have some older Chinese friends who have kids in high school age are going through all of the identity issues. Like they described, some of the kids shame of themselves because they have asian face. Those might be the extreme cases, but we can see the struggles they have be through. In my opinion, I think the best fit for ABCs or CBCs are ABC/CBC themselves.