为什么你们都觉得HONEYBIRD的男友该跟她去中国, 而不是反过来?

I just don’t understand why everyone here suggests that “honeybird” dump her boyfriend.

What’s more important in life?

Money can be made, a job can be found, but someone who loves you? You should consider yourself winning a lottery just to be able to find another loved one if you lost the first---- in Honeybird’s case, her current boyfriend Banana who loves her dearly. (Let me call him Banana from now on)

A lot of the online-friends judged Banana as self-centered/inflexible, because he’s not willing to move to China. However, when this type of problem happens in a relationship, one of the two will have to sacrifice. If Honeybird should not give up her career dream to follow Banana to wherever he is, why should he follow her?

Honeybird, please ask yourself this question: If banana had a job now in Canada/US/ Europe, would you follow him, or would you insist in going back to China to try your luck at job opportunities there?

If your answer is YES to the earlier choice, then the problem is not that Banana doesn’t want to go to China, but that you’re not happy that he doesn’t have a job.

If you truly love one another, this is a test for both of you. Thick and thin, can you work through this together?

I don’t understand why people here say this is a test only for Banana, “If he doesn’t follow you to China, you should dump him.”

Is it because the poor guy is not online to read your responses + face your judgment, so your sympathy/consolation only goes in one direction? Hypocritical ah, people.

What’s that old Chinese phrase? “Follow the chicken when you marry a chicken, follow the dog when you marry a dog”?

What happened to the old Chinese tradition that made women so feminine? Did all the feminism go to Japan, Taiwan or other regions where Chinese culture is much better adapted and preserved?

Is there nothing spiritual left for China? What do all the girls think reading the wide spread “poetry”: “Eat the French dish, Live in an American house, Drive a German car, and, Marry a Japanese wife?”

Dear Honeybird, If I were you, I would feel troubled/scared/hopeless as well. But I will stick with him, I won’t leave him when he just lost his job and feels desperate in his heart. If I did leave him in this situation, I would disrespect myself in the future when I think of the things I’ve done to hurt my loved ones. I’d rather hurting myself than hurting him.

For the short term, there is financial damage, there is pain in searching for the light through the dark, but for the long run, you kept your dignity and you will be much more proud of yourself since you supported Banana when he was lost in direction. Both of you will be stronger for that.

Now, the above probably sounds too ideal, but that’s exactly what I’m going to do if I were you and what you’ve described is the real situation and it happened to me. I know you can do it too. You have done a lot to compromise, and people admire you for that. Perhaps you just need a bit more faith: Banana is going to find a job and you both are going to be happy ever after!