so you're rather have a lonly life, and think your

lg miserablly all time, than face your fear and move back to china with him. what do you lose to move back? i don't see anything in your case except break you habbit for a change. it is much easier to adapt to a place you're born and grew up from.
the kids will get used to new enviroment, don't worry about them. the worst case, they can always come back to US for college. but you give them a whole family which you can't buy from anywhere.