Chapter 1. Deprived of the right to an education

Chapter 1

Deprived of the right to an education

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My grandma was born a century ago into a wealthy family in China around 1908. I believe she did not need to worry about her life essentials such as food and clothing,   but she suffered a great deal because of the beliefs and value that her large family held. Her family believed that boys were more important than girls; therefore the family focused more on boys’ lives rather than girls’. The family sent boys to school, but kept girls at home. Boys would eventually carry on the family business, or make a living to support their new family in the future. Girls needed to only marry a wealthy man and raise the children for that man; therefore, girls were taught how to be a lady with a proper manner, to dress elegantly, and have a good sewing skill.

 

She lived in a large family. Many relatives such as uncles, aunts and cousins all lived on a property. The family also provided the accommodation for servants. The large family was run like a mini country with the King and Queen, which were the grandfather and grandmother. As for education, her family once was very open; they even sent her youngest aunt to school with the boys. This aunt, called May, later turned out to be the woman of my grandma’s the most admired in her childhood. My grandma told me that May was the most beautiful and elegant lady she had ever seen. May could read and write, and was educated the same way as the boys in the family. However, May’s unsuccessful marriage later not only caused her grief but also dramatically changed the other girls’ lives in the family.

  

May married a successful business man who was very nice to her. In the beginning, they lived quite happily. The husband often needed to travel around the country for his business. During one of his frequent business trips to Peking, he met a young girl. Eventually he had an affair with her. In old days, it was not considered a big deal because man in China had the right to have many wives as long as he could afford them. May read many legendary love stories, and truly believed that the love between her and her husband was unique and would be another legend too.  She was very happy and loved her husband dearly. She did not know of her husband’s affair for quite some time.

 

One spring morning, May woke up early while her husband still was in a sound sleep beside her.  She decided to walk around the garden as the flowers were blooming and the birds were singing there. She dressed up and went into the garden, smelled the fragrance of the flowers, breathed in the fresh air of spring. “What a beautiful life,” thought she, “Life could not be any better.”  She was so focused on her own happiness that she did not even notice the servant boy who ran into the garden.

 

Once she spotted the servant boy he was already in the middle of the garden. He ran towards their house with a letter in his hand. She realized the boy as her husband’s closest servant; he always took the boy wherever he went.

 

She stopped the boy and asked, “What are you hurrying for?”

 

“I am delivering a letter to the master, Madam” said the boy. “It is a letter from Peking.”

 

“OK,” she said, “give the letter to me and I will give it to your master. He is sleeping now. Do not want to wake him. Let him sleep as much as he can because he just came back from a long trip.”

 

The boy gave the letter to her and left.

 

She looked at the envelope. The writing inspired her curiosity. It looked like a woman’s writing. She opened the letter and read it. It was a love letter from the girl in Peking.

 

She could not believe her eyes. She was so shocked and furious that she rushed into the bedroom, grabbed her husband and slapped him across the face.

 

It was definitely unacceptable behavior to slap a husband no matter what he had done. A woman neither had the right to defend herself, nor did she have any place to seek help in those days.  Her husband left the house immediately. May’s father begged him to return every time he saw him on the street. But he never did. The marriage was broken. The elders of the family came to a conclusion that a girl should not have an education. If May had not been able to read the letter, she would not have ended up with such a miserable life.

 

Since then, no girls in the family were allowed to attend school. The family sometimes hired a private tutor to teach some basic character recognition to the girls at home. My grandma was one of them. She was keen to learn how to read and write, and was longing for the education all her life. But she somehow never got a chance.  Illiteracy was a lifelong pain buried deep within her heart.