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职场新人的人事困惑,请帮助!

(2007-10-19 02:46:21) 下一个

大家好,我是一个刚刚毕业and工作的人,我有困难,想听大家的意见。I started my job in this May in a brand new city. This is also my very first job. 单位里只有一个中国人(同部门,但不同老板)。我刚上班时,领导 sent out the personnel announcement,她有给我会email,我挺开心认识一个中国人的。Her office and mine are far from each other. Normally we only meet each other in our company meeting and go home (我和她都做地铁,在同一站上下)。Her office hours are weird, so it is rare for us to meet on the train since I work from 8 to 4:30 or 9 to 5.

第一次地铁碰见,她就问了我好多问题,私人的, (such as how old I am, what my husband is doing, how I feel the new job, which undergraduate university I graduated), 我也就回答了。互相留了电话。

10 days after this first meet, 我第一次打电话问她 where to find a 理发店。她很热心地留言回答。我因为是留言,没有直接谢她。

第二次我打电话问她工资单扣税的事,电话里谢她。这次聊的长一些,她告诉我很多“小道消息”和她老板对她不好的事,我也听了,可是实话说,我觉得有些她的评价让我觉得很负面,毕竟我是新人,而且我不太会人际关系,听了这些,让我听有压力, I feel the HR relationship is so complicated, but I also encouraged myself that I should be positive.

第三次我打电话给她是因为我老板评价我的英语需提高,我很upset,伤心,和她聊了一下,我在电话里谢了她,心里也非常感谢她。这之后,I had a chance 参观她的办公室,和她又聊到英语,她对我的评价是“your English is bad, and sometimes you are aggressive”。说心里话,我听了她的评价,挺伤心的, very upset。其实她有很大的优越感 (因为她是国内英语系毕业的,我的英语是不可能和她比的.) All I know is to work hard to polish my English.

之后很忙,almost 2 months or so we didn\'t contact or meet each other.

In August 我生病了,她听说给我打了电话,我发烧,但也和她聊天,也谢了她的电话。在我病期间,我发了电子邮件,问她 where to find 医生的信息,她的回信我没及时回复 (因为生病没有勤查email. I only sent 2 emails during the whole sick week, one of which was to tell my secondary boss I was sick, and the other was asking her for a favor of information of her dentist). 之后上班,很忙. We are also far from each other, and her office hours are weird, so I was thinking of 见面谢她 when possible.

大约是她的信后的7天 (middle of Aug.),我们大部门开会,会后我就跑着追上她, and here was our conversation (I tried to recall)
She: 好了,病?
Me: 是的?(我听她的语气极不耐繁,冷冷的,心里很吃惊。)咱们一起回家吧?
She: 我要会办公室。
Me: 那下次吧。

Normally 她脸上很严肃(这有她的隐私,我就不谈了),她自己都说她厉害,有脾气,她的老板都知道她这点, when she speaks to whites, she looks happy or friendly at least。So I did not take her reaction seriously this time.

因为我们不在一个办公室,见面就是开会或是回家。这之后,我们就开过一次大会,她也不太理我。有2次做地铁碰见,明明到站下车,我看见她,刚要打招呼,她就去了另一个门。我停车后等她,她也不理我,就走。我非常伤心,心想不理我,为什么呢?I told myself if she didnt want to talk to me or so, I needed to learn not to talk to her.

终于事件在上周五下班发生了。

在等公车时,我们碰见,她向我打招呼,我很惊讶,也回应她,但很不自然,就没说什么话。赶地铁时,我就在走路,她从后面赶上。Here was conversation, which I recalled every day now.

She: 你眼睛不好吗?
Me: 是的,我眼睛怕光 (这时我还傻傻的)
She: 你脑子也有问题吧?(恶狠狠)
Me: 。。。。 (我当时都傻了。从小到大我没有和人吵架过! And it was a Friday rush hour in the train station.)
(她快步走, 我赶了上)
Me: 你为什么这么说话呀?
She: 我就觉得你脑子有问题,傻!
Me: 你能把话说清楚么?你比我大十几岁?
She:我觉得你可能是年龄小,我emailed my dentist to you,连句谢谢都没有,我还以为我的邮件给了狗了?
Me: 对不起,我在生病就没有及时会信,后来又没有机会谢你。我心里很感谢你。
She: 见面连招呼都不打,你以为你是谁?(恶狠狠)
Me: (I was very upset, 我就重复了on the light train 她不理我的事)
She:那是因为我心情不好,或是没看见你。总之咱们以后谁也别理谁!(恶狠狠)

我当时无比震惊,我一直说,”我很感谢你 (I really appreciated all the information you shared with me),为什么会这样?明明是你不理的。有时开会碰见,你不开心,我就没说话。”

我真是长这么大,没有和人吵架(幼儿园除外),而且我是第一次在公开场合被人羞辱,质问。

我问她,”你对外国人也这样?”
她恶狠狠地说 “我对敌人就这样。”
我对她说,”我不是你敌人,我很感激你的信息,但是就因为我没说谢谢,你就这样对我,因为我胆小怕事,所以你就欺负我?”(我说到这就很伤心,哭着下车)。

这件事已经快一个星期了,但是我还是放不下。我很伤心,很难受。

I feel hurt, misunderstood and upset. I talked with my friends about this person and issue. I realized that I should have acknowledged her email immediately in words for her information (the only reason I didn’t was because I was very sick at that time, and then busy). BUT what on earth did I do trigger her scold me in public and say so hurtful words?

I am new to work and job, and all I did is working hard and be peaceful with everyone. What on earth can I do then? I appreciated all of her shared information from 3 phone calls and 1 email. I am not good at expressing myself, so I should be blamed and insulted?

I feel she is crazy (may be I should not use this word). BUT for a mature adult, will anyone act her like her? Did anyone meet this kind of Chinese in your workplace?

Now I feel very stressful, confused and hurt. I don’t know how I can help myself. I am not strong. That’s why I decided to write it down and hopefully you would like to share your opinions with me.

Please help me out! How can I help myself out for such a person? Everyday, I go to work, even her office is far from me, I am so terrified that her crazy will hurt my reputation among my colleagues. Will she say bad behind me (because she was acting like that!) so to hurt me?

It will be highly appreciated if anyone could help me analyze this person and the issue. May I know what I should do, to protect myself and help me out? I feel very upset, worried, stressful and hurt.

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