今天读到哈佛大学推荐20个快乐的习惯，觉得总结的很好，这里结合自己的理解，谈一下这些习惯。
Slow down, look around you, and pay attention to the little details in your life – the delicate purple flower on the sidewalk, the beautiful sunset, the hot shower that washes away your long day, and the smile in your partner’s eyes…
When you have a grateful heart that is appreciative of life’s beautify, wonder and blessings, you’re automatically filled with happiness.
感恩
这里强调两点，一个要慢，我在中国呆着的时候，觉得节奏很快，似乎你很忙碌，解决了一大堆问题，但是新的问题又来了。回到美国，我终于能够体会到慢的好处，甚至有时候我会故意让节奏慢下来，只要这个事情不是紧急到不解决会失去信誉，违背合约，慢慢来，出去散一下步，看看路边的野花，看看蓝天白云，自然的美不是高楼大厦那种人为的，当你感受到了大自然的奇妙，你的心情就好了，也平静下来了，不要以为你自己多重要，看轻自己，这样的好处是让你保持谦虚，这样你更能看到他人的好，世界的好，觉得自己渺小，那么也容易满足，容易开心。
According to Harvard, the most important external factors affecting individual happiness are human relationships. So if you want to be happy, choose to be around people who are optimistic, who appreciate you as you are, and who can make your life richer, bigger, more fun, and more meaningful.
明智的选择交往对象
我们看过一个视频，知道幸福的源泉来自于和睦的人际关系以及夫妻关系，而选择你的交往对象就变得很重要了，跟观点不一样的人在一起，什么事情都别扭，谁都想去改变对方，都不愿意被对方改变，而我们的生命并不长，没必要去强迫自己做难做到的事情，选择和三观一致的人在一起就是这个道理，以前我不懂这个道理，以为凭着真心真情总能打动对方，但是其实自己还是想改变对方，最后当然也失败了。没想到，现在碰到的老婆，大部分想法都不需要解释就差不多，突然就感到特别轻松，你可以把精力用到喜欢的事情上去。
When we try to step into other people’s shoes and understand a situation from another’s perspective, we’re more likely to handle the situation with compassion, objectivity and effectiveness. There will be less conflicts and more happiness.
换位思考
换位思考是一个人的能力，换位思考不仅仅是你站在对方的角度考虑问题，你还要理解世界上有不同观点不同思维方式的人，如果你是女人，你可能要站在男人角度考虑，如果你是一个嫉恶如仇的人你可能还要站在和稀泥的人的角度考虑，你是城里人你可能站在农村人角度考虑，你是南方人可能要站在北方人角度考虑；你是二十岁的你可能要站在40岁人角度考虑；只有这样的换位思考才是真正有意义的，不至于得出错误结论。
Learning keeps us young and dreams keep us alive. When we engage our brains and put them toward productive uses, we’re less likely to dwell on unhappy thoughts and much more likely to feel happy and fulfilled.
不断学习
学习不是没有目标的走形式，学习在我的理解包括读书，包括查资料，包括通过思考变得成熟。比如退休的人学习厨艺，看电视剧时思考为什么会这样，当你想通了一件以前想不通的事情，这本身就是学习进步。当你学习时，你会忘记不愉快，忘记烦恼，在我现在的人生中，甚至每次碰到矛盾，我都觉得是一次学习的机会，真的没有功夫去生气。所以快乐的人时刻都在学习，而且学习是一种自觉自愿的行为。
Happy people are problem solvers. When they encounter a challenge in life, they don’t beat themselves up and fall into a depressive state. Instead, they face up to the challenge and channel their energies toward finding creative a solution. By becoming a problem solver, you’ll build up your self-confidence and your ability to accomplish whatever it is you set your mind to – and whatever challenges life throws your way.
解决问题
这一点我深有体会，解决问题是一件很开心的事情，每次一个难题有了转机，你会特别开心有成就感。我说的事情也不仅仅是项目工作，包括教育孩子，处理好公司，家庭的人际关系，甚至包括交朋友，修理旧家电，补车胎，其实什么事情，需要动脑筋，查资料最后完成了，都是充满乐趣的。
Since we spend over one-third of our adult life working, loving what we do has a huge impact on our overall happiness. If this is not possible at the moment, then try to find enjoyment and meaning in your current work, or cultivate a hobby that involves doing something you love.
做你想做的事情
我们生活的三分之一时间都在工作，那么做我们想做的事对我们的整体辛福感就有很大的影响。如果现在不能做你想做的事情，那就试着在你现在的工作中寻找快乐和意义，或者培养一个你喜爱的业余生活。这一点我觉得可能自己运气不错，以前喜欢电脑，做的工作也是电脑相关的，虽然工作很辛苦，而且公司对员工不好，不过我也给了自己很好的理由，在完成工作以后，不需要更努力了，我还有喜欢的网球作为运动，另外现在做的公众号也是乐趣之一，所以这么多喜欢的，还有什么好抱怨呢？
When you feel depressed, you’re living in the past. When you feel worried or anxious, you’re living in the future. But when you feel content, happy and peaceful, you’re living in the present.
活在当下
你感到沮丧，是因为你活在过去。如果你担忧和焦虑，是因为想太多，假设太多不一定发生的事情，你活在未来。但是当你感到满足，开心和平和时，你才是活在当下。
Laughter is the most powerful anecdote to anger or depression. Research has shown that the simple act of curving the corners of your mouth can increase your feeling of happiness. So don’t take life too seriously. Try to find humor and laughter in life’s everyday struggles.
经常笑
这个不用多说，笑不仅让自己开心，也让整个环境变得轻松，笑还会传染。不要太严肃笑是对抗生气或沮丧最有力的的东西。研究表明简单的嘴巴上扬也可以增加你的幸福感。不要把生活看的太严肃。我的前妻总是说我喜欢傻笑，原本我也以为是缺点，离婚后谈恋爱，几位女士都说首先被打动的就是我的笑，所以现在我更喜欢笑了，确实，当你看到对方笑的时候，就算有什么不满也都可以化解了。
Resentment and anger are forms of self-punishment. When you forgive, you’re actually practicing kindness to yourself. And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s through our mistakes that we learn and grow to become a bigger and better person.
学会原谅
憎恨和生气是对自我的惩罚，当你释怀了，事实上你是善待自己。每个人都会犯错。我们犯错并吸取教训，才能成为一个更强大，更好的人。对于让自己生气的人，最简单的方法是远离他，免得再次受到伤害，如果实在离不开，那通常是你有更多的理由可以得到快乐达到平衡，这种情况也没有必要生气，选择原谅总是比选择仇恨要对自己有益得多。
Always be appreciative of the blessings in your life. And it’s equally important to express your appreciation to those who’ve made your life better in some way, big or small.
经常说谢谢
对亲人，朋友说谢谢，不是客气，而是礼貌，特别当你养成习惯，你会得到更多好处，别人会更乐于给你提供帮助，你高兴的同时，也会更乐于给别人帮助，形成良性循环。
Our happiness multiplies when we connect and bond with another human being on a deeper level. And being fully present and listening are two of the most important skills to strengthening that bond and bringing happiness to ourselves, and to others.
交心
什么叫交心，中文的理解就是知己，就是两个人可以无话不说。个人的经验是，只有和你睡的人才能深交，这也是我特别需要妻子的原因。我的父母还是那种相对传统的，认为孩子永远是孩子，永远不能跟他们平起平坐的那种人。我一种在试图改变我和孩子之间这种关系，我希望跟孩子成为真正朋友，无话不说。
我男性的朋友不多，有那么几个，都是因为对方喜欢说，我大部分时候听，但是内心里，我更愿意的是什么都可以说，只要对方问，我不觉得有什么要隐瞒的。除非有人特意告诉我这是秘密，不要告诉其他人。
至于女性朋友，我现在也发现越来越不需要藏着掖着，其实每个人心中都想找一个可以无话不说的人，秘密藏在心里是很难受的，说出来会特别心情舒畅。
以前我们都想太多，觉得秘密说多了就一定要有那个意思，其实并不是这样的，当你有一个满意的妻子或者丈夫的时候，你不会对其他人有过多的想法，你会真心站在别人角度去帮助对方。
Our self-esteem is built on the agreements we’ve made with ourselves. And high self-esteem has a direct correlation to happiness. So keep your agreements with others and with yourself.
守承诺
这个不需要多说，没有诚信的人是不受欢迎的，你可能骗人一次，但是失去的是友谊和信任，而且没有诚信的社会，你也会经常被骗。这里有一点我要强调的是，承诺的标准和理解有时站在不同角度会有偏差，总是用自己的标准去衡量别人是一种愚蠢的做法，因为当你否定另一个人时，其实你也被对方否定了。
According to Harvard, people who take 8 sessions of mindfulness meditation training are, on average, 20% happier than a control group. Such training can lead to structural brain changes including increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion and introspection.
沉思
我个人以为很多人反应很快，其实快并不一个优点，很多事情慢慢来做，通常收效更好。另外就是，我特别喜欢人有时无所事事的时候，这时候，让思想无边无际的去想，你会慢慢发现自己不是一个简单的被动的生活，而是可以自己掌控方向。
When you put your mind, heart and soul into what you’re doing, you’re creating a happiness state – called the “flow.” When you’re living in the flow, you’re less likely to care about what others may think of you, and less bothered by things that are not that important. The result? More happiness, of course!
全身投入
当你全身心投入一件事的时候，你就会处于一个开心的状态。当我们处于这种状态，你就不大会关心别人对你怎么看，不大会被不大重要的事情干扰。结果呢？更幸福，当然啦！
For happy people, the glass is always half-full. If your tendency is to imagine the very worst-case scenario every time you face a challenge, then train yourself to reverse that tendency. Ask yourself what good can come out of the situation or what you can learn from it. Optimism surely fuels success and happiness.
乐观
每件事都有好的一面和坏的一面，乐观的人总是看到好的一面，就算我们伤心失败，也是吸取了教训，避免可能的更大的失败，所以没有什么绝对的坏事，没有什么值得后悔。
No one is perfect. Accept yourself for all of your imperfections. And do so for others. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you need to spend all your time with them or help them figure out their problems. Unconditional love means accepting people as they are, and allowing them to find their own ways, at their own pace.
无条件的爱和支持
没人是完美的。接受自己的不完美，也要接受不完美的其他人。无条件的爱并不是说你一定要帮他解决问题，而是无条件的信任他可以自己找到对他好的路。有时候过分的帮助，会变成一种控制，得到完全相反的效果，给人成长的机会才是无条件的爱。
Unfinished projects and repeated defeats inevitably dampen one’s self-esteem. If you’ve made up your mind to do something, see it through. Don’t give up until you succeed. Remember, failure is temporary but defeat is permanent. And defeat only occurs when you give up.
Everyone has limitations, and things don’t always turn out to be what we’d like them to be – despite our efforts. So always give your best, and then let go. Let events run their course. When you’ve done your best, you’ll have no regrets.
不要放弃，尽力，然后放手
个人来说做什么都很有耐心，比如坚持写博客从十年前就在做了，当时就是生活中碰到了让人心疼的事情，想解决，慢慢就喜欢上了，这件事我会坚持一辈子。无所谓结果。但是开公司，我发现自己不是那个料，我尽力了，尝试了，现在再也没有遗憾了。
A healthy body is the key to happiness. If you have poor health, it’s very difficult to be happy no matter how hard you try. So make sure you eat well, exercise and find time to rest. Take good care of your body, your mind and your spirit.
照顾自己
一个健康的身体是幸福的关键。如果你身体不好，你无论如何努力，都很难快乐。吃好，休息好，保持愉悦这几点是极为重要的。
Doing good is one of the surest ways to feel good. According to Harvard, when people do good, their brains becomes active in the very same reward center that is stimulated when they experience other rewards. So it’s not a surprise that people who care more about others are happier than those who care less about others.
给予
做好事，做善事本身不一定要有金钱的回报，但是精神上的回报很多时候是超过金钱所能换来的，所以不是说有些人吃饱了撑的要做没有回报的事情，那只是因为你还理解达到享受精神回报。
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