吾感到習是有苦衷的，似不得已而为之。

He must collect enough power and ensure to hold it long enough as to cope with the challenges from the power framework of the west's global colonialism, which means to forge China into a healthy and self-reliant machinery and to secure it from its inner corruptions (which are indeed worrisome).

我將無我，不負人民 sounds like a sincere confessional self statement.