Matchmaker: Fa Mulan?
Mulan: Present!
Matchmaker: Speaking without permission ...
Mulan: Oops ... [They go inside]
Granny Fa: [to Fa Li] Who spit in her bean curd?
Matchmaker: Too skinny ... not good for bearing sons.
[Crickee hops out of his cage, Mulan frantically tries to put him back in. ]
Matchmaker: Recite the Final Admonition.
Mulan: Mmm-hmm-hmm ... [pulls out a paper fan and spits Crickee out]
Matchmaker: Well?
Mulan: Fulfill your duties, calmly and ... [glances down at the crib notes written on her arm, which are smeared slightly] respectively. Um, reflect before you ... snack. Act! This shall bring you honor and glory.
[She fans herself, the matchmaker grabs the fan and searches it for cheat notes. Finding none, she grabs Mulan by the arm (where the notes are!) and pulls her toward a table. The writing comes off in her hand.]
Matchmaker: This way. Now, pour the tea. To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity [she rubs her hand over her mouth, and the ink rubs off with a squeak] and refinement. You must also be poised.
[Mulan, staring at the Matchmaker, pours the tea but misses the cup, then regains her composure and quickly fills the teacup.]
[Mulan notices Crickee relaxing happily in the tea. The Matchmaker takes the teacup. ]
Mulan: Um, pardon me ...
Matchmaker: And silent! [sniffs the tea] Ah ...
Mulan: Could I just take that back? One moment ... [She grabs for the cup]
[The Matchmaker fights for the teacup, and they both fall back, the tea spilling all over the Matchmaker. Crickee hops down her dress. ]
Matchmaker: Why, you clumsy! ... Oh! Ah! Woo! [She trips over the fire-pot, spilling the coals and then sitting on them, the bottom of her dress smoking. Mulan desperately fans the burned spot, and it bursts into flames. The matchmaker runs around screaming.]
Granny Fa: [To Fa Li] I think it's going well, don't you?
[The matchmaker runs outside, screaming. ]
Matchmaker: Put it out! Put it out! PUT IT OUT! [Mulan throws tea over her, putting out the fire. Embarrassed, she hands the teapot to the Matchmaker and quickly walks toward Fa Li and Granny Fa.]
