I'll see what I can do. Here is my input:

Here is a revised version for your consideration:

A fawn to a deer

 

Last summer

she was a helpless lonely fawn,

hiding in the sunlight-dappled bushes,

with white spots covering her body

for camouflage.

Time flies. One and a half years later,

Winter is here.

She becomes a brave deer, 

dancing with her slender legs

to the tune of Jingle Bells in the background.

All the white spots on her back

are flying off as snowflakes in the joyful air.

 

 

 

 

所有跟帖： 

• 改得好极啦！非常非常感谢！：） -妖妖灵- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:36:12

• Thanks! You did strike the right chord with readers like me. -renqiulan- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:44:26

• Pls check my input again.By all means make it right for you. -renqiulan- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:49:55

• I put your revised version in my main post! 也让大家参考学习！非常感谢！！ -妖妖灵- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:51:52

• I think I have a typo in my input.. -renqiulan- ♂ (95 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 21:00:48

• 好文章是改出来的！学到很多！第一步先写，然后一遍一遍去改！才能进步！你太厉害啦！ -妖妖灵- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:53:15

• It is your idea. It is your creation. I am your reader. -renqiulan- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:56:46

• 我为了记住你的改写，专门写的，反复对照几遍，终于把你的改写都写下来了：） -妖妖灵- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 20:59:47

• I think I have a typo in my input: -renqiulan- ♂ (95 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 21:02:26

• 谢谢！改了：） -妖妖灵- ♀ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 21:04:41

• Right on! -renqiulan- ♂ (0 bytes) () 12/17/2022 postreply 21:52:06