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ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
This issue, the Asshole of the Month award goes to the Chicago Lung Association for refusing to send us its copyrighted book The Respiratory System and Smoking. We wanted to run pictures of diseased lungs that appear in the book as part of our national advertising campaign against smoking. We offered the association free advertising space in HUSTLER and told if we would donate any proceeds that we made from posters of the pictures to the American Cancer Society.
No other major publication in the U.S. would dare to run these uncesored pictures that shows how cancer "cures" people of the smoking habit—permanently. Any other publisher would be scared shitless of losing cigarette advertising revenues. We were sure willing to give up valueble ad space ($16.000 per issue) to publish the pictures on our back cover.
Since we've recieved excellent cooperation in the past from the national office of the American Lung Association, we expected the same from its Chicago branch. But to our dismay we recieved a curt letter from John L. Kirkwood, excecutive director of that office. The concluding paragraph reads as follows: "I have reviewed the contents of your magazine and feels its inapropriate for our organization to be associated with yours in any way, shape, or form."
With narrow-minded sanctimonious hypocrites like Kirkwood running branches of a national organization trying to eradicate lung dieseases, it's no wonder lung cancer and respiratory diseases continue to be a major killer in this country. The twerp seems like such a gaping *****, that if he sat down, he'd probably swallow Chicago. What's with the Chicago Lung Association? This odious branch of the national organization probably believes that people who read HUSTLER are such mutants that they can't get lung disease. If it turned out that fucking was a cure for cancer, they would probably let us all die before they would turn us on to it. Somebody should stick a proctoscope up their hemorrhoidal *****s and see if there is a cure for gutless, constipated attitude exhibited by the irresiponsable Chicago branch of the American Lung Assiciation.
If you as the readers of HUSTLER, feels offended by these pompous *****s at the Chicago Lung Association who don't think you have the right to live just because you like to fuck, write the national office and express your dissatisfaction with such an illogical, contradictory attitude. The addess is: The American Lung Association, 1740 Boradway, NEw York, N.Y. 10091. As for Excecutive Director Kirkwood, HUSTLER hopes he sits on a corkscrew and a group of schoolchildren mistakes him for a top. This would be a well-deserved fate for a man who screws our readers out of information that could save their lives.
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