I personally think the best bet is to look very hard to find a primary care physician you like, and establish a trusting relationship with her. (Sort of like in a marriage. ) I am lucky that I found a family doctor that I am very fond of. She probably also senses that I have very little chance of suing her and would not hesitate to answer my questions like: "What would you do yourself in this situation?"
Of course it gets much harder in hospital care especially in emergency care. In that case the patient really has little control. I have accompanied my friend in his health crisis in ICU in a big hospital. Believe me, there were medical personnels whom sometimes I wanted to yell at. (They are in the minority. But they do exist. ) But yelling wouldn't be helpful. What I did was that I made my requests to them in a manner as courteous as possible. If that's ineffective, I reached out to the helpful ones and seek my help from them. This would not always work either. But sometimes it did. Fortunately my friend survived. And he said he would donate to the hospital once he gets rich :-)
