I have some time today to edit your writing.

That Saturday afternoon was awful (awfully) hot and humid and my air conditioner was not working. I and my friends (My friends and I) were busy cooking in my small and messy kitchen, sweating like pigs. Everybody was (add “so”) hungry like (as if) we could swollen (typo – swallow) a whole cow. Before long a full table (“full” here) of food was (foods were) ready. Food (The foods) smelled delicious that made some people mouth-watering. Facing the inviting and aromatic food we couldn't wait to pig out. As soon as we started to gobble, I notice (noticed) that everybody was so fast using their (his/her) forks and chopsticks to take food from the shared dishes to their (his/her) own bowl, and eating like birds, and as we ate we kept eyes on foods on the table, as if they would be gone in a wink of an eye (a heartbeat). Yes, we were so hungry after coming back from an excursion to a city for a classic car show. Not surprisingly, it was like just (a bad writing habit) in a few minutes, foods were almost gone. The situation on the table looked like scattered clouds swept by winds (A Chinese idiom?), and cups and dishes are scattered around in disorder. Someone started to burp. So now we got a second wind (I don’t know what this means, from your Chinese version, I guess you want to say “to take a breath”) to chat.

所有跟帖： 

• 多谢鲨鱼兄指正！番茄一万次！ -sportwoman- ♀ (909 bytes) () 09/21/2012 postreply 20:31:25

• 欣赏鲨鱼兄具有建设性的反馈！周末愉快！ -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/22/2012 postreply 20:16:25