There so many disgusting Chinese men who just want to be 人上人。Man, where did they get that from? When a man takes the vow to enter into a marriage he should put the happiness of the family at first, not his personal ego --that's what I believe and I do.
Guess you have been in the States long enough that you should not be afraid to be without him. So take the whole family back(this will be good for the kids, as you have put as the top priority). Just make sure that when things happen(and they do) you can still get back and make a living by yourself.
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