我的映像里，女儿高中没date过，大学是女校，自然机会不多，至少我没听说过。太太一直关心女儿的事，有次在我喝酒的时候，说：你就知道喝酒，也不关心女儿一下！你号称那么多朋友，遍布美国，就没个朋友有年龄相当的儿子呀？给老同学打打电话么。
只得遵从太太的命名，打电话到和女儿比较熟悉的老同学那里，开起玩笑。老同学哈哈大笑：你看这里的老同学都是女儿呢。我一定帮你看着点，有合适的男孩子，我就叫他们过来一起party...
其实我给太太说过：你女儿的性格和你近似，不是那种自来熟的人。以后找男朋友，一定是在比较熟悉的环境里，如同事呀，老同学呀。可太太着急，每次和女儿谈这事，就是直奔主题，女儿一句就顶回去：着啥急，我一个人不是过得很好么。而我呢，往往是旁敲侧击地和女儿说说笑笑，连自己的“恋爱史”都让女儿知道了很多。。。
女儿回来参加高中同学的婚礼，给我打电话，告知行程。说起一个父母已经离开这里的老同学，我担心她没地方住，就提醒女儿她要没地方呆，可以住我们家。女儿说了句谢谢，又加了一句：I am going to bring someone else,too. 我想都没想：Boyfriend? 得到的回答让我目瞪口呆：yes...
这是女儿和男朋友回去后我和太太写给女儿的信（涉及隐私的都删了）。别笑话我英文差，呵呵。后面的路怎么走我们无法预料，但我和太太觉得对女儿，我们作父母的责任已经基本完成。
Hi, D。,
Your mom and I are very happy to see you and your boyfriend. We are happy not just because of your trust on us, the most we like is the big step you just put forward in your life. As I always say, no life is perfect, and when we look back later in our lives, something we experienced may seem funny, crazy or even stupid, but they are all parts of our lives. Our lives become tasteful and beautiful because of these funny, craze and stupid experiences and moments.
We wish we had more time with you. We could have gone fishing one more time and caught more, we could have gone hiking or camping. However, we are all living a regular human being’s lives, which are full of duties and responsibilities. We can only hope for the next time.
I know you are just at the dating stage. This is a good time for you to learn how to get alone with other people closely, and how to find a life-long soul mate or partner. You may notice we had a lot of chats with ZZZ(boy’s name) while we were eating or drinking. Because we care about you, we were trying our best to learn more about him and his background. Finding a soul mate or life-long partner is not an easy job. It takes a lot of thinking, soul-searching and even failures to find the Mr. Right.
We have no concern about his education and personality. Eventually this is up to you to make the decision whether his personality is right for you。。。
The best way to learn more about a person is going to his past, especially his old friend circle, such as his old classmates . You may notice that I am always comfortable with my old friends and classmates. They tease me, joke with me, and dig out my embarrassed past to laugh at me. While party with these old friends, any words about a person’s past might be hints for you to learn about him.
The US culture is about network. So try not to isolate yourself in a 2-person world. You have seen my friends and I have drunk together for more than 10 year by now, almost once a month. On these gatherings, we exchange jokes, relaxing us from pressure in real life. We all face pressure from job, from family or from relationships. We consult each other to find a resolution. At your age, you may not notice all of these issues. However, you must hear mid-age crisis, which a lot of people suffer. So always help friends when they need, building up your network. I do not have salesman personality, you can see I still have a lot of friends over the country who are willing to help me. Our house is always open to friends, and they like to stay with us. Partying with friends is also an excellent opportunity for you to observe the personality of the person you are dating.
Kid brings a lot of responsibility. Once have kid, life will be totally different. So carefully plan your life. As I said that mom and dad are still working hard to make sure we can be financially independent of you and your brother, and to save enough for your brother’s college. My estimation is that we are 5 years away from the stage we can give you a hand…
Invest more on your future. Investment could be money, education, gain of knowledge, and even network. With a far sight and long-term plan, you will have less stress and more joy in the future. Life is a long journey, so always be prepared for unexpected events.
As mom and dad, we always wish you a happy life. We concern, we care and we pray. When you fly high and get tired, don’t forget that mom/dad’s place is for you to rest, to accumulate energy for next fly. Whenever possible, you should stop by, giving dad and mom a hug.
Love,
Mom and dad
