Looking for the second part

 

周末胡思乱想的一段话，中文是完整的，英文只练习了一部分。谢谢大家阅读这篇枯燥的文章，祝周末愉快！

 

Confucius said:"If it doesn’t please you, DO NOT apply it to others.”

This sounded very similar to a quote that I learned as I first came to America “You treat people the way you want to be treated”

This advice works pretty well most of the time except when your personal preference conflicts with what’s believed to be a better way, i.e. common sense, or even higher standard based on religious believes.

Let’s look at two scenarios in which this advice is applied:

1)    Assuming you dislike any critiques, therefore you never critique others.
     （or change the statement to a positive tone: You only like compliments so you only make compliments.）

2)    Assuming you dislike destructive critiques, so you never critique others in a destructive manner.
      (or change the statement to a positive tone: You like constructive critiques，so you try to critique in a constructive manner.)

The subtle difference here reflected two different standards in which  the second one being relatively higher than the first one.  Because in our society, critiques are needed and the manner should be appropriate. This implies that we should constantly learn to improve our standard in order to honor this philosophical view point.

Therefore it’s necessary to add its second part when using it to guide your thoughts and action:“Even it pleases you, but be cautious when applying it to others.”

 

寻找“己所不欲，勿施于人”的另一半

 

孔子说：“己所不欲，勿施于人”，意思是： 自己不希望他人对待自己的言行，自已也不要以那种言行对待他人。对应我刚来美国学到的一句话：You treat people the way you want to be treated，道理一致。

在多数情况下是合适的，但也有不明确之处，它与己欲的标准有关。

举个小例子来比较按同一观念处事的两种态度：

第一：因为甲不喜欢听批评的意见，所以甲就就不愿意批评他人。
（或者用肯定句来陈述：甲喜欢听好话，所以甲就只说好话给他人听，投其所好）

第二：因为乙不喜欢听不讲究方法的批评，所以乙在批评别人时不会不顾方法。
（或者用肯定句来陈述：乙喜欢接受合适的批评方式，所以乙会在批评时注意方法）

注意其中微妙的区别就不难发现，都是用同一种处事哲学，但第二种用的标准比第一种要高，因为个人和社会的进步是需要批评的，但批评的方式极为重要。

这说明人的“欲”，即”喜好”需要调整，要随认知和境界而提高，标准用对了，才使得这种处世哲学在实际应用中接近完善。 因此应将它的另一半找出来：己所欲之，慎施于人。也就是说在施于人之前，即使是满足了自己喜好的言行也需要审视自己所用的标准。

如果你认同这个道理，就再进一步想想找出另一半的意义何在。

作为普通人，上述两种情况的微妙差别无大碍，可能只是生活中为人处世的 小事情，但作为决策人就可能会影响多数人。若自身标准低，再依照这条哲理来制定管理他人的规则，就看不见决策的智慧。比如，在公共场合禁烟的问题，如果决 策人有烟瘾自己不喜欢被限制，再用上“己所不欲，勿施于人” ，就难以制定出合理合情的规则，除非自己意识到了这一点，不断反思，提高认知，接近真理。 再举一例，几乎每个人都不喜欢被人监督，不希望增加透明度，那么是否该用”己所不欲，勿施于人“来指导行为呢？如果无人监督，没有透明度，就难以防范和杜绝错误的苗头，所以应该是第二种态度更合理，即注意方式地去增加透明度和加强监督，即使你自己也不喜欢被人检查。

本人的愚见是应将另一半合起来使用：己所不欲，勿施于人；己所欲之，慎施于人

注：”己所欲之，慎施于人”是本人胡思乱想的构词，若有人使用过，纯属巧合。

 

很感激网友askerfor 翻译的下一段：http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/yingyuyuanchuang/139434.html

So move one step further to find out the importance of identifying the twin-value if you have agreed on this point of view.  

Being an ordinary people, it does not matter either of the twin-values is practiced, what the subtlety between the twin-values can affect, at most, is merely such small things as interpersonal relationship. However, big differences can be made if you are a decision-maker who happens to be a believer of the less positive value (e.g., the first of the twin-values). As such, no wisdom of decision-making would be observed in the devising of public management policies. Take the issue of “no smoking on public occasions” as an example. If the decision-maker is an addicted smoker who hates being restricted, no reasonable smoking rules can be generated by excuating the value (“己所不欲，勿施于人”)unless the smoking decision-maker has been aware of the defect of the value, and meantime he is good at re-examining his conduct, and ready for improving his understanding until the truth is sought. Here is one more illustrating example: Few people like being monitored and wish for offering more transparency of their own. So should the value be applied to guide the social behaviors? Surely no! Since no monitoring, and therefore no transparency would create no chance of preventing and/or eliminating the emerging errors and mistakes. It is therefore more rational to take the second twin-value attitude. Namely, gaining more transparency and enhanced monitoring through smart approaches even if you, the decision-maker, too dislike being inspected.

The point of mine here is synthesizing the twin-values appropriately prior to using the value of ”己所不欲，勿施于人”.

 Note: “己所欲之，慎施于人” is a term conceived after a while of working with my wildly immature thoughts. It is just a coincidence in case the term has been used by someone else.