[凸嘴乱评]情人诗赛26。back at one

这首英文诗。作者英文很好。

 

 

但是他的英文好，是指写文章方面。不是写诗方面。

 

 

写诗的语言，不讲究语法结构的完整，有的时候甚至是讲究不完整的。

 

 

这首的句子结构太完整了。比如下面黄色标出来的几句。

 

 

有些词其实可以省。

 

 

 

 

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Back at one

 

 

 

 

When the old song began to sing

 

 

I knew the moment was coming

 

 

Rain drops tapped and danced
Your three words were a maze into which I vanished

 

 

I never dreamed the dream came true

 

 

I never prayed this prayer of giving

 

 

 

 

But the rain hazed into a hail

 

 

Sorry my darling

 

 

Sometimes even the sky couldn’t help crying

 

 

 

 

A rainbow gave away the hiding sun

 

 

Now the storm quieted and clouds were gone

 

 

Should I

 

 

Should I still

 

 

Turn it back to one

 

 

I had your words and now you have mine

 

 

I’ll cherish and I’ll embrace

 

 

Shall we

 

 

Shall we still

 

 

Go back at one