他该走的路（英诗） 附自唱：天路

 

The Road He Should Take


Oh,
you, winding,
rugged
muddy
flat
straight
wide
steady...
and endless roads...
please let him know
which one of you
he should take
to reach her soul.


By 小贝壳
Nov.20， 2015

 

Comments:

Firemajic

Check your commas Xioman...maybe one too many... I love this message! just one wrong turn.. and then the potential for heartbreak or happiness.. which will it be... always a pleasure to read your work..

• 2015-11-21, 12:12

  inkwellness

  Poignant and thought provoking. I like the succession of adjectives. It can create a feeling in the reader of long drudgery, similar to what the endless roads represent.

• 2015-11-23, 04:22

  Fats Velvet

  I have a few really piddling comma suggestions beyond what you've already improved, but this poem is too good to call broken in any way.

• 2015-11-23, 16:03

  shedpog329

  I really enjoyed this, hope he reaches that destination! Well done!!

• 2015-11-23, 18:54

  Blade

  :flower:
  
  The only suggestion I might have would be to make line 2 'you , winding,' into lines 2 and 3 thus leaving a singular column of words.:-k
  
  Enjoyed.

  
   

 

 

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所有跟帖： 

• Roads will not be rotten since people tread on. -走马读人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/12/2016 postreply 20:15:03

• 嗟余听鼓应官去，走马兰台类转蓬～。　出口转内销。 -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/12/2016 postreply 20:19:00

• 蘭台--台湾 宜兰? -走马读人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2016 postreply 04:21:48

• 茅台 -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2016 postreply 11:27:59

• 从各地去台湾，除了坐飞机就是船，走马---是飞马吗？ -小贝壳weed- ♀ (169 bytes) () 10/14/2016 postreply 15:34:07

• 骐骥，遭到抑制，处境困厄 -走马读人- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/14/2016 postreply 17:09:00