1 你好，水手
The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student.
"What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"
"I'd throw out an anchor, sir.”
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, sir.”
"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"
"I'd throw out another anchor, captain.”
"Just a minute, son, where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"
"From the same place you’re getting all your storms, sir.”
2 礼物该给谁？
A father of five children came home with a toy , summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present， "Who is the most obedient, never talks back to Mother and does everything he or she is told?"
He inquired.
He inquired.
There was silence, and then a chorus of voices: "You play with it, Daddy!”
3 忠告
My father's health was greatly impaired after a serious operation, but his sense of humor was intact.
"Teddy, "the doctor told him, "You know you won't be able to work the way you've been used to."
" Well, doctor, "said my father, "if I won't be able to work the way I've been used to, you won't be able to charge me the way you've been used to !"
4 分享
As the mother of three small children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories, prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene, they must go to bed and stay there.
One night, after a particularly trying day, all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies, milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people, standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked, "Do we relent or stick with the rules?"
Our three-year-old piped up, ”Stick with the rules, Mom. "
Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed, I asked, "And what are the rules, Melisa?"
"Share with one another, "she replied.
5 去天堂
Sunday school teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up…what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up, don’t you want to go to Heaven?
Terry: I can’t. My Mum told me to go straight home.
6 幸运?
Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized, adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."
"I don't know how lucky that is, "my husband replied.”I' m the doctor. "
