周末一笑: 一个好学生(ZT)

1 一个好学生

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.

 

2 明天早上数

It’s a night. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I’m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

 

3 完美的儿子

A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

 

4 双重错误

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?

B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.

A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.

B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

 

5 错号

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!" said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

 

6 单枪匹马

Teacher: Did you father help you with your homework?

Student: No, he did it all by himself.