1 购物 Go Shopping
Our supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "Don’t worry, lady," he said. "I will pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store?"
2 要有信心 Gotta Have Faith
This is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With trembling voice, he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, “Whenever it breaks."
3 懒惰的经理 Lazy Manager
A middle management executive has to take on some sports by his doctor’s, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine”, the manager says. “When I am on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, and my brain immediately says, "Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!" "Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks. "Then my body says, “Who 、Me? Don’t talk nonsense!"
4 你做了什么坏事 What is your offense
It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner.
5 应聘间谍 Apply a Spy Job
Ten men applied for a job as an industrial spy. The interviewer gave each man a sealed envelope. They were ordered to deliver it to the fifth floor.
One man secretly disobeyed and opened his envelope. It read, “You’re the right person for this job. Report to the personnel department immediately.”
6 为什么新郎穿黑衣服 Why is the groom wearing black?
At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” She answered, "The bride wears white because this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thought about this and said, "Why is the groom wearing black?”
(from Internet)
